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Friday, November 30. 2007
Evel No More
Talk about freaky. In the previous blog I sung the praises of Evel fuckin’ Knievel, writing he should have died a long time ago and … he just passed away. That’s too bad. I like Evel Knievel and, unlike John Wayne, consider Evel fuckin’ Knievel to be a real American Hero — and Knievel is/was a veteran.Didn’t know this about Evel fuckin’ Knievel: He was a better than average ski jumper (naturally) and hockey player. Well, figures. He was born and raised in Butte, Montana. Evel fuckin’ Knievel … dead at age 69, Friday, November 30, 2007. I’m sad.
New Hampshire native Leeland Eisenberg had a crazy thought Friday: he walked into the Rochester, N.H. campaign office of Hillary Clinton with a bomb-like device strapped to his chest and took hostages. It ended peacefully. Guess he wasn’t as crazy as he thought.Once, back when I was certifiable, I had the crazy idea to buy a shitload of weapons and explosives and go to Washington, D.C. and take out President Reagan, the Vice President, George H.W. Bush, his cabinet and … I forget whom else. This was before what’s-his-name shot up Reagan and his entourage in 1981. John Hinckley, Jr.
Hinckley wasn’t acting out of ideological rage, he was just fuckin’ loony. He had stalked President Carter before. Equal opportunity attempted assassin
I was not only certifiable — and perpetually wasted on a wide variety of hallucinogens, narcotics and alcohol — I had a political-social agenda. Not really. I was such a pathetic loser I figured suicide by secret service would be a great way to be immortalized in history.
John Wilkes Booth, Charles J. Guiteau, Leon F. Czolgosz, Lee Harvey Oswald, Tim Forkes.
Anyway, I got drunk and slept it off. It’s amazing how crazy our ideas sound once we sober up. This is the funny part. Back then I hung around with the campus Communists. Not because I had any real ideological affiliation with them, although I like to think I’m a pretty darn good Socialist, but because they would get together every night and pool their funds together — mostly from the cheques sent by mom and pop — their moms and pops — and buy pitchers of beer until the money ran out.Everyone could drink, equally one might assume, regardless of how much we contributed to the kitty. Whether it be 35 cents or $3.50. Generally, I was more in the 35 cents range. Generally, I drank in the $10.50 range. Or more … So, there we were, with my 35 cents and their $14.00 worth of beer, sitting around the Gasthaus, talking politics like we believed it and plotting the Communist Revolution when I blurted out my idea for eliminating “The Enemy”: Reagan, Bush, et.al. Then I got up to go evacuate my bladder.
Upon my return, John, the leader of the cell, met me before I got to the table, my backpack and jacket in his hands. He turned me around, put his arm around my shoulder and started walking me to the door, saying, “Tim, we really don’t want you to come around anymore.”
Kicked out of the fuckin’ Communist Party! I feel like … John Reed … No worries though; I’ve always wanted the biggest house on the hill and a bevy of nice Ferraris in the garage. Kinda flies in the face of Communist ideology. But dammit! That was as close as I got to drinking free in those days and by god, that was important! Should have kept my trap shut.
Wasn’t really gonna do it either. I just liked to talk a good game!
Crazy ideas … you know, some Republican voters have the crazy idea Mitt Romney is a good, conservative candidate. Someone at the J.O.B. was talking about Romney running for president and I had to correct him: Romney is flip-flopping his way to the presidency.
The Republican candidates ripped each other to shreds the other night in a CNN/YouTube debate. They pretty much stuck to topics the extreme right wing of the party likes: guns=good, abortion=bad, immigrants really bad, especially if they’re from Latin America.
Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee, the bass-playing rock star of a candidate (and ordained Christian minister) weaseled out of a question by a YouTuber on video: How would Jesus feel about the death penalty? Huckabee’s answer — his weasel: “Jesus was too smart to ever run for public office.” Hey governor, how would Jesus feel about a guy who says he’s a good Christian minister but dodges a question; in effect, is dishonest?
Huckabee has been moving up in Iowa polls. Maybe it’s about time the newsies who get paid to interrogate the candidates start asking them to answer the questions, instead of dodging them as Huckabee did. Force the governor to answer the question.
Then go after Mitt Romney who claims he doesn’t know the specifics of waterboarding. Really. You’re running for president and you don’t know what waterboarding is? If one goes to the torture museum in Cambodia, a place that depicts the various means of torture the Khmer Rouge used during their bloody reign, you can see graphic photos and models of the actual act. The museum, by the way, is actually called the Tuol Sleng Museum of Genocide.
Hard to fathom the depths of depravity our fellow humans — us, really — will descend … until we see the evidence of that depravity.
Then ask all of them, except for Ron Paul (he advocates an immediate withdrawal), how many American lives they are willing to sacrifice to continue the illegal war started by President Bush? Things are going well in Iraq? Then why hasn’t a drawdown of troops started? At least the “surge” troops? Why does that have to wait until next year when one of you Republican puppies will be running against Senator Clinton (I’m thinking she’s way too far ahead for anyone else to matter)? Maybe I’m just too cynical, but maybe, just maybe, you’re hoping for a bump in the polls if you can use the troop withdrawal as a political tool.
Someone needs to start asking the Republican candidates the hard questions. Guns, gays and abortion are hardly the issues that matter to a vast majority of Americans. We want to know what they’re going to do with this ever-growing economic crisis that has bank foreclosures at level not seen since the Great Depression.
And Tom Tancredo: shut the fuck up!
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