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Thursday, August 14. 2008

Funny

For three days I’ve been stewing about something to write. I’ve got nothing. John McCain as the next Republican is old news. We know he’s gonna campaign just like he said he wouldn’t …

Although at work we had an interesting conversation about Barack Obama. The common fear, among Obama supporters, is that some crazed loner with a gun will assassinate the Senator. In a country that has had many political assassinations in its history, that is a very real possibility.

In 1975, Squeaky Fromme got close enough to President Gerald Ford, but didn’t quit pull the trigger. Well, she didn’t have any rounds in the gun, a Colt.45. Lynette Fromme, to this day, remains devoted to Charlie Manson.

Charlie Manson, still alive and kicking at Corcoran State Correctional Facility. Bernie Mac, Isaac Hayes, George Carlin, Jerry Garcia and Frank Zappa; all dead and Charlie Manson still breaths, all of them (and plenty others I didn’t mention) have legacies for the world. The first five in the world of art and entertainment, and Manson in the annals of criminal history, itself a form of entertainment.

How many cop shows do we see now, not to mention all the “reality” crime shows. We love crime. Not so much punishment, although on TV there is a program called “Prison Break.” It’s starting its fourth season? How do you run a prison break over four years? It’s really quite simple actually. Season two the feds are after the escapees, season three finds the “heroes” hiding out in Panama, breaking someone out of a prison there — in the Central American prison, true to stereotype, the prison is run by the inmates — only to be double-crossed, after first double-crossing, the “bad guys.”

Now the heroes, two brothers with different last names, are teaming up with the F.B.I. to finally bring down the bad guys. What’s next? The Hunt for Usama bin Laden?

It doesn’t really matter what the content of the programming is these days, or the premise of the program. As long as a TV show has cute characters and good and evil are easily defined — the good guys always look like rough characters, but they have principles — it will remain in production long after someone says, “Jeez, this shit just doesn’t even resemble the first season.”

Remember how “Happy Days” struggled off into the sunset? Fonzi was a responsible member of society; had only one girl friend at a time, Joanie loved Chachi — in real life too, apparently; it was a sad end to a funny show that had its genesis with a classic American movie, American Graffiti.

Who knows how “Prison Break” will end. We know “M*A*S*H” ended with the end of the Korean War, only on television the war lasted 11 years, instead of three and it morphed from a comedy into a drama series. Radar “went home,” Klinger stopped wearing dresses, and the producers killed off Henry Blake! At the end of the second season! MacLean Stevenson wanted out of the program. As did Wayne Rodgers, who played Captain Trapper John McIntyre.

Usually, before a favorite show of mine goes off the air, I’ve stopped watching it, mainly because the producers don’t know when to end a good thing and milk the great program until it is nothing more than a sad caricature of itself.

Not so with “Seinfeld.” That ended at just the right time.

Here’s a curious thought to ponder: ever since I quit using drugs and drinking, I’ve stopped watching programs in syndication. Loved “Seinfeld,” but don’t watch it in syndication, yet I still say, occasionally, “Yadda-yadda-yadda,” or “Not that there’s anything wrong with that” and … I forget the other funny line oft quoted.
 Editor’s addendum: the once forgotten but oft spoken line from “Seinfeld:” “No soup for you!”

Back in the day “The Bob Newhart Show” was great in syndication for decades, mainly because the characters, an ensemble cast of great comedians and actors, were consistently funny, even after viewing episodes ten or more times. Being high does that to you. Everything’s funny … over and over and over; yadda-yadda-yadda. See? That’s not even funny … but I’m keeping it in there just to be funny, in an anti-social, rebel without a clue kinda way.

It’s not that we lose our humor as we sober up, it’s that we realize we’ve already laughed at the lines before. I have friends who still laugh at “Friends” and never miss a syndicated episode. And my friends are non-drinking fools just like me. I’ve never laughed at “Friends.” There was nothing original about it, although two of the actors in particular are in my favorites list: Lisa Kudrow and Matthew Perry.

Here it is, 700 words into this thing and I haven’t even mentioned the decline and fall of American civilization — as portrayed on broadcast television.

We all know torture became acceptable when “24” proved it worked. If Jack Bauer can get information out of a bad guy using less than savory methods, then why not the C.I.A.? “24” is one of Dick Cheney’s favorite shows. Jack Bauer, played by Kiefer Sutherland, is a reclusive, loner agent, the epitome of the strong, independent man working for the good guys, who himself doesn’t work well with authority, unless it’s “good” authority, vanquishing foe and bureaucracy with every season. He cuts through the red tape, dammit! And gets the job done!

In one season he was captured by the Chinese, now our good buddies and host of the Olympics, and then his girlfriend, played by Kim Raver — she’s HOT — was then kidnapped by the Chinese to trade for Jack Bauer. It was then we knew Jack Bauer could never have a long-term relationship with any woman.

Guess we’re gonna have another season starting in November. Wonder if Kim Raver will still be in the cast.
 In case you missed it, Senator John McCain had a cameo as a bureaucrat. He hands a file to Kim Raver’s character. Republican’s like this program! It portrays America as tough! But in a gentle, compassionate way!

For the most part, broadcast television is a cesspool designed for one purpose: generate ad revenue. The producers, for the most part, rehash the old, tried and true formats, place new characters and circumstances into the script and voila, you have the new hit show. What was original and funny about “Everybody Loves Raymond”? It starred Ray Romano, a fairly decent comedian in his day. They also had two great actors, Doris Roberts and Peter Boyle, who died before the show went off the air.

Even with Boyle I never watched it. Like most other sitcoms, the episodes were predictable and you knew who was going to get the laugh lines and when. Sadly, this type of program formatting works. Americans, by and large, are simple creatures, prone to everything that is “entertaining” and doesn’t require a lot of intellectual interaction.

But don’t tell that to fans of “Lost.” Can anyone really explain what that program is all about? I watched the first few episodes of the first season … and then stopped because I’d rather clip my toenails than watch “Lost.” But the fans claim it is the most intellectually stimulating program ever!

Now in it’s umpteenth season, the cast has gone from lost, to living with extra-terrestrials, mutants and other assorted weird stuff. Definitely a show for stoners. It’s a pseudo-thinking show. What's there to really think about? Really, it has the intellectual equivelancy of a comic book. Well, maybe a “graphic novel.”

I’m thinking, “What the eff is this all about?”

Funny, how this morphed from the original premise, presidential assassinations, into the decline and fall of television. It’s all connected man! Predicted by the Mayan Calendar!
 This is a topic for another occasion, the Mayan Calendar, which predicts we’re in the end times. Sort of like Nostradamus, only Native American.

Now I gotta go have some lunch and run some errands. “General Hospital” will be on shortly and I hate missing an episode!

Posted by Tim Forkes in Media Madness at 11:01 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

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