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Thursday, November 6. 2008
The Jones
It’s 4 a.m. and I’m suffering withdrawals. Got a serious jones. Might go into the DT’s at any moment now. It’s been over 12 hours now — 12 damn hours and I’m wide-awake, waiting for the sweats to start. Addiction is one of the most wide spread diseases on the planet.We all are addicted to something they say, but I don’t believe it. True, most of my friends are former drunks and dope fiends — come to think of it some of the ARE drunks and dope fiends — but that’s really just a mark of the company I keep. All my friends are in low places, or however the song goes.
Drunks and dope fiends are a special breed of human. They self destruct in the most prolonged, miserable sort of way, dragging anyone and everyone who cares about them down into their pit with them. It’s not that they don’t care about their loved ones, or themselves, it’s that they can’t help themselves. Many times, well, sometimes, drunks and dope fiends actually would like to extricate themselves from their hellish existence, but that requires actions that are just too damn difficult.
Some drunks and dope fiends though not only make the decision to stop and get out of that hell, they actually follow through. True dat! And then they’re sober assholes, at least for a little while. Once they stop they realize, some times, they have the personality of a 10 year old. It’s like we never grew up. Did I write “we”? I meant “they.”
But that’s not what I’m jonesing for at the moment. Nope. There are a few addictions lurking about in my life, like candy corn. Oh man! I’ve loved these things since I was but a wee lad! And always, right after Halloween, every store has bags of them on sale for half price or better! Screw the trick-or-treaters! They can have the bite-size Snickers, the candy corn is mine!It isn’t the candy corn that has me in knots though. As a matter of fact I’m finishing off a bag as I type! Kroger brand Indian Corn Candy! Nope, I’m feeding that addiction quite pleasantly, thank you!
You’re probably thinking, “He’s stopped looking at pics of nekkid women!” Naah. I don’t think prurient predilections are addictions anyway, regardless of what some clown with a fake diploma might tell you on the Internet.
When David Duchovny hustled himself off to treatment for a “sex addiction,” my eyes just went blurry with disbelief. Why on Earth did he do that? No doubt he was caught cheating on his wife, Tea Leone. The irony of course is that Duchovny is the star and producer of the Showtime program Californication. I’ll have to check and see how that lawsuit by the Red Hot Chili Peppers turned out. The Chili Peppers are a little miffed about a TV show with the same name as one of their most popular albums.
In Californication Duchovny is a sex-crazed writer (with writer’s block) who boffs any and every beauty who gives him a wink. That’s not an addiction, that’s just good game. Most of us men are absolutely jealous of the men in that enviable position. Fifty years ago you didn’t read or hear about the Rat Pack going to treatment for sex addiction. Hell no! When they got the itch, they scratched it!
Of course, they were cheatin’ on their wives when they did, but they were big stars, the biggest, and they just paid for the alimony by making another movie or two. They didn’t go shufflin’ off to a treatment facility for “sex addiction” in some bizarre form of a mea culpa. Hell no! They just kept on fuckin’!
Now, I’m not condoning or promoting sexual misconduct or cheating on one’s spouse. If you take a vow, you ought to live up to it. Taking a vow is giving your word and if you can’t live up to that — then don’t take the step.I’ve never been married.
Most people who get married do not have any intention of breaking those vows, but it happens. I know a few who feel the regret and guilt for doing so every time the subject comes up. I feel for you. We are all human and subject to making mistakes.
In his memoir, Senator John McCain (remember him?) admitted to cheating on his first wife many, many times. He also said he was sorry for doing it and blamed the break-up of that marriage on himself. Of course, he had a hot, young millionaire heiress for a second wife when he wrote that.
I have such a jaundiced eye.
Neither the American Medical Association nor the American Psychiatric Association recognizes addictions to sex or pornography. At best, they might be disorders, not addictions. But, in our religion-controlled society, any Christian freak with an online diploma can open up a treatment center for “sex addiction” and call it “therapy.”
Looking at nekkid women — or people having sex — in books, video or on the Internet is not a disease, is not a sickness. If you’re spending more time looking at pictures and videos of people like Danielle Richardson on the internet than doing the deed with your spouse, it isn’t a sex or porn addiction, you’ve just lost interest in him or her and maybe you ought to examine your attitude towards your spouse.There are married folks, I know a few, who look at what people consider “porn” and have happy marriages with active romantic and sexual activity. Some of those couples married longer than 20 years. I won’t spot them out here.
Ironically, much to my surprise and dismay, California voters approved Proposition 8 banning same-sex marriage. My guess is it will be over-turned by the courts. They have ruled such a ban unconstitutional.Anyway, it isn’t sex or photos of Mel Pressley I’m jonesing for, although I sure have a desire to … err … get to know her (and a cavalcade of others) a little better. With the magic of Photoshop, these women think I look a lot like Johnny Depp! Or Daniel Craig! Photoshop and MySpace, ain’t it great!
My addiction: I haven’t watched any news channels for nearly an entire day. No MSNBC, CNN and certainly no Fox News. I did watch The Daily Show with Jon Stewart but that’s more like comedy, not news. I wanna hear and see Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews talking about the news, wanna ogle the women of all three networks as they talk about the important news — Zain Verjee of CNN and Erin Burnett of CNBC and MSNBC — but I’ve cut myself off. Cold effin’ turkey.
Nope, no news TV for me, I’ve actually watched MTV reality shows, one of those being Paris Hilton’s New BfF. Really. Not to mention one of the Terminator movies and two of the Lethal Weapon flicks.
Yesterday afternoon, when I found myself adding comments to the Jack Cafferty File through CNN’s website, I knew I had hit bottom. So, I got up from my chair — after clicking the send button to post my comment, my second, or third … can’t remember — and made the decision to turn off the news.Enough of this, I’m turning on the TV’s, two of them, one to CNN and the other to MSNBC and when Sean Hannity comes on, Fox, so I can watch his continuing melt down and those of his equally unfair and unbalanced colleagues. I gotta have my fix.
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