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Tuesday, March 17. 2009
Dancing Nekkid: A Spiritual Experience
Happy Saint Patrick’s Day!Eight years ago Cyber Girl Amy Miller was the subject of two St. Patrick-themed pictorials in the Playboy Cyber Club. She was the Cyber Girl of the Month at the time and the regular publishing date for that CGoM feature that week was March 16. Well, Playboy delivered that one and then, for what many of us considered a real stroke of luck, on the 17th we got a St. Patrick’s Day boner feature! I mean, bonus feature! I’d love to give Amy an Irish kiss!
Now, because my lovely sisters frequent this site — and they are for the most part devout Catholics (of a sort) — I won’t display the more … err … stimulating photos, but take my word for it, they were quite stimulating! Amy Miller, a resident of Las Vegas, NV, is quite a stimulating lass!
Saint Patrick’s Day is a Catholic holiday of course, although, these days, there’s little, if anything, religious about the day. Unless of course you consider drinking large quantities of Guinness and Jameson’s a spiritual experience. There was a time when I did so I did it every day! Just call me St Timothy, patron saint of the terribly incorrigible!
Not to be confused with the actual Saint Timothy who was stoned to death sometime around 80 A.D. when, as the bishop of Ephesus, he opposed a Pagan celebration in honor of the Roman Goddess Diana.
Ephesus, if you really want to know, is in Turkey, on the coast of the Aegean Sea.
St. Timothy was the son of a Greek man and a Jewish mother who converted to “The Way.” So, we have a Greek-Jewish man proselytizing the religion of what was at the time a Jewish cult, stoned by Turks who were worshipping a Roman God. You have to love the international symbiosis of that tale!
His feast day is January 26.
But this is Saint Patrick’s Day when the Irish flood Manhattan for the big Saint Patrick’s Day parade. Not to mention all the other localities around the world where the Irish gather to celebrate their drinking prowess.
There will be St. Patrick’s Day parties everywhere tonight; every bar, even those with unmistakably non-Irish themes, will become Irish for a night and serve not only the Guinness and Jameson’s, but green beer as well. The horror. Green beer, like the water in the White House fountain, is colored with food dye. There’s nothing wrong with that of course, but the bars tend to use the cheapest — and usually the worst tasting — beer in their inventory for the colored disfigurement. That’s really the crime in green beer.
Back in the day, when drinking was my religious activity, I tried green beer a few times at different establishments and decided to never do that again. Now I don’t drink at all, but still find the practice to be abhorrent.There is a clique of us who don’t drink and we consider St. Patrick’s Day to be one of the many “Amateur Nights,” when those who generally don’t drink much go out and drink like fools. It’s at once disgusting and entertaining! They generally toss their cookies all over the nearest floor — and occasionally your pants leg and shoes — get drunkenly depressed, slobbering their tears all over you and on the not so rare moment, get up on the bar and dance nekkid!
There you go! The entertainment for the evening! Some Irish folk band, hired to play for the evening, will be racing through a collection of standard Irish jigs and a couple hours into the night, a couple of the more imbibed members of the crowd shed their garments, climb up on the bar and start shaking their booties!
Thanks to all the mobile phones with cameras, we have a lot of evidence of these people entertaining the barroom throngs! I say, let the merriment commence!
The dark side of Amateur Night is the number of arrests for drunk driving. People being killed by drunk drivers is a real fact of days (and nights) designated for drinking. Most people are pretty responsible, even when they get drunk, but the few who get behind the wheel to drive drunk make the prospect of traveling on the roads tonight sketchy at best. Drinking and driving is a crime and all too often a tragedy so I have no sympathy for the people who will spend the night in jail because they were caught drunk behind the wheel.But, if you’re an attractive young (or not even young) woman who wants to get up on the bar and dance nekkid after tossing down a few shots of your favorite Irish whisky, by all means, get up there! Dancing, in many cultures, is an expression of spiritual enlightenment and this day began as a religious holiday!
So, get up there and honor St. Patrick!
Dance nekkid!
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