The Forkes Report

Tim's Favorite Blogs

The Weather
Ruffle Your Shuffle
Eschew Obfuscation
IM Earthling
Silk Road
The Huffington Post
Talking Points Memo
American Progress
Citizens For Ethics
Crooks And Liars
Common Cause

Media Matters

Blog Directories

Monday, October 19. 2009

Simulation

So, watching TV one night there was an ad on for a new video game, around being a DJ: Scratch: The Ultimate DJ. A video game wrapped around being a rapper, or a DJ rapper. I’m not really sure.

Now, I have no idea what today’s DJ’s actually do. In my younger days, DJ’s just spun records, punctuated with dedications to Louann or Tammy, possibly to celebrate their new boyfriends or to lament the loss of their boyfriends. “This one is going out to Tammy and her new boyfriend, ‘Baby I’m a Want You!’ ”

Guys usually found that shit pretty lame, but the women loved it and the DJ’s knew it. If a guy was on his game and was trying to impress his new girlfriend, he’d of course find out one the new GF’s favorite songs, and it had to be a love song, and ask the DJ to play it and dedicate it to the new girl. If the guy really knew what he was doing it would be a song by Barry White or Marvin Gaye.

 For whatever reason women really love any song by Barry White and Marvin Gaye, and “Sexual Healing” especially by the latter.
 There’s a woman who has piqued my interest lately, but were I to dedicate a song to her it would have to be from Ozzy, or Whitesnake at the least. And not the sweet songs either. Hard and headbanging only.

Of course, the ultimate break up song to dedicate to someone, a guy mostly, has to be “Love Stinks” by J. Geils Band. Of course, J. Geils Band also produced the hit, “Angel in the Centerfold” which is a whole other story.
 Wish I had an angel who was in a centerfold, but that’s getting into that whole other story.

DJ’s today are a whole different breed altogether. They have reputations now and get paid lots of money to do what they do at various events. It’s sort of like going to a concert, but instead you’re going to a fabulous night club that is so exclusive you ain’t getting in if you like me or my friends. Hell, good looking people often don’t get in unless they’re on a guest list. Hot chicks, dressed to please, almost always get in. Famous and somewhat famous people always get in because celebrities draw crowds.

Remember the big—useless—kerfuffles about Britney Spears and Paris Hilton getting paid to be at Las Vegas parties? They didn’t have to do anything except sit there and be seen—and drink—encouraging the paying customers to do the same. That was all about drawing paying customers to those nightclubs, which they did nicely, even though one of them (I forget which) fell asleep on everyone.

There’s always a minimum charge. Most recently I saw an ad for a place having some special DJ event and the minimum was $250 per table. It’s most likely they were turning people away at the door and more than likely the club was getting a lot more than 250 bucks per table.

As I recall, the come on for that one was that there were would be a number of Playboy models not only attending, but hosting. That would be worth attending! But then, the doorman would see me and say, “You’re too old and ugly” and deny me entrance.
 Speaking of Playboy models, the lovely Roxanne Dawn is a DJ and she has her own mixes and music on her MySpace page. If that’s what DJ’s do now-a-days, then they earn their money!
 Besides, I like Roxanne! She can do no wrong in my book!

But really, this has nothing at all to do with what DJ’s do, but with the fact that there is a video game around being a DJ. Boggles the mind. Why would someone need a video game? Just get a turntable and a bunch of vinyl records and start spinning and scratching! But then, maybe I’m over-simplifying being a DJ. This I do know, DJ’s have to have an “attitude:” in layman’s terms, a unique personality.

A couple months ago a really famous DJ, who was about to star in an MTV reality show about kicking drug addiction, died in his New York apartment. DJ AM, Mark Goldstein. Everyone who is anyone knows of DJ AM, it was even front-page news on the Huffington Post. I hadn’t heard of him until I read the Post. But his death had the equivalent impact as when we learned Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead had died in a rehab facility.

So, back to the game. I guess the deal with the game is you can assume the personality of the pre-recorded DJ. Maybe there is more than one DJ to choose from. If you’re little Jeffrey Filner from the ‘burbs of Schenectady, NY and you’ve always wanted to be a famous DJ (at least since you were nine and now you’re 15) this is the game for you. You can even be a Black DJ!
 Just for the record, when I was a kid I wanted to be Miles Davis. Still the coolest musician to ever live.

It has the usual stereotypical characters, at least from watching the commercial. The blonde is of course a bimbo who is only concerned with having sparkly balls to twirl. But it got me to thinking about a couple other video games that I find curious: Guitar Hero and Rock Band.

Here are two videos games that allow you to simulate being in a rock band. You can get a Van Halen version, Rock Band the Beatles Version and so on and so forth. Can you imagine pretending to be John Lennon or Paul McCartney? I can. Did it all the time as a kid, but now you get to simulate it in a video game. I’m not sure what the point is of any of these games, but there are cheat sheets available on line to make it easier to win.

There was an episode on Southpark once when the kids entered their Rock Band “band” in a contest. Or maybe it was Guitar Hero, I don’t remember. Dad, a real musician, pulled out his old Fender Strat and gave them a taste of the real thing. They were unimpressed. Eventually Dad got hooked on the video game and drove the kids away. Parents, what douchebags!

Anyway, this is getting long already. These video games about being rock stars and DJ’s baffle me. A year ago the motif for the layout of Playboy’s Miss November 2008, Grace Kim, centered on one of the games. I’m not sure which one, but she’s holding the guitar controller in many of the photos. I’m guessing Guitar Hero because the man himself, Hugh M. Hefner — and a bevy of Playboy models — endorse Guitar Hero. Now that’s a fine commercial! Hef likes variety!

Learning to play an instrument isn’t easy for most people. It takes years of dedication and sacrifice if you want to be any good. And even that doesn’t guarantee great success or even nominal success. You might become known as the greatest unknown guitarist or keyboardist, but that’s about it. And for many musicians, that’s more than enough because it isn’t about the adulation, it’s about doing the thing you love.

Making a video game out of it sounds a little … like making it easy. Taking the heart out of it. Metallica endorsed a version of one of these games, Rock Band, but that whole deal fell through. Maybe they got a conscience, who knows. Eh, what do I know? The 21st Century is a whole new world to me. Get used to it I guess.

Music just ain’t what it used to be. Hell, being a DJ ain’t what it used to be. How I feel so nostalgic.

Posted by Tim Forkes in Religion and Society at 09:01 | Comments (2) | Trackbacks (0)

(Page 1 of 1, totaling 1 entries)