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Friday, November 6. 2009

Wardrobe Malfunctions and Other Delights!

Have we had about enough of Jon and Kate? Their TV show for exploiting their kids for money was one thing, but now we have to know all about Jon and all his new girlfriends — and old girlfriends — and how Kate is still in love with the turd?

There was some show on, Inside Edition I think, and the interviewer was asking Kate about her ex. Did she still love him and miss him … who fucking cares? Apparently enough Americans who watch TV to make it a ratings seller for the creators of the program.

This is what’s funny; the guy in this, Jon, was cheating on his family, trying to keep it a secret even though he was the subject of a “reality” show that had cameras following him everywhere! Not to mention the paparazzi. He actually had the hubris to think he could get away with it!

Give someone a little notoriety, some publicity and a little extra cash in the pocket and voila! Instant cad!

Then there is Dancing With the Stars. Can’t believe that has the ratings it does. Sure, Tom Delay was a contestant, but that was about all that caught my interest and even then I didn’t watch it. Saw the clips of the Hammer and that was terrible enough.

Donny Osmond is competing, as is model Joanna Krupa. One would think I’d watch just for the sexy outfits the women wear, but pictures are available the next day if I’m interested. Plus some of the women professionals have been featured on sites like Maxim where we can see them wearing much less. Joanna Krupa was voted the sexiest swimsuit model so her pictures are all over the place.

One of the drawbacks to programs like Dancing With the Stars — and American Idol — is that fans get to judge the contestants. In the past there have been great miscarriages of taste when people who should have been eliminated from these shows early on were kept “alive” by the votes of fans. Cloris Leachman comes to mind. She hung on in the dance program long after she should have gone, but apparently being a fan favorite kept her there when other, more worthy contestants, were dropped. The producers should drop the fan participation. Americans, collectively, have no taste.

Years ago when American Idol was somewhat new, a really terrible singer gained so much attention for being so bad, he was the toast of the airwaves. He even got a record deal out of it. William Hung, and he made such an impression I still remember his name. Couldn’t tell you who the winners have been, although I understand Carrie Underwood won American Idol one year, but I remember William Hung.

Some big fat guy won American Idol one year and look where his singing career is now. The guy who came in second has more of a career but I can’t remember his name either.

Here’s the funniest fact about these TV shows: there are people who can rattle off the winners of every season of Dancing With the Stars and American Idol as well as the runners-up! I just remembered: from the first season of Dancing With the Stars (DWTS for those in the know!) General Hospital star and Playmate Kelly Monaco won and there was some controversy because people thought some other guy should have won. They had a dance-off specifically so the other guy could win. What kind of bullshit is that?

The highlight of Kelly’s time on DWTS was the wardrobe malfunction. Apparently her top came loose but her quick hands saved her from exposing her lovely breasts. Here’s a photo from her Playmate portfolio exposing those lovely breasts. Just click the pic on the right.

After the exciting malfunction, which apparently didn’t reveal anything (I’ve searched the Internets for photos), men who wouldn’t watch a program about ballroom dancing now watch in hopes of catching another wardrobe malfunction. Plus, they like seeing the skimpy outfits the more attractive women wear on the program. Being a man dedicated to his prurient interests, that’s not an entirely bad reason to watch.

The flipside of course is that people who once couldn’t give a rat’s ass about ballroom dance are now getting an education on this once dying art. There have been some great movies centered ballroom dancing, but they’ve never been popular — except for the wildly popular Dirty Dancing.

One season I was actually watching the first episode just to see former girlfriend of Hef, Holly Madison, compete. But, I had to suffer through so many others I turned the channel before she came on. Apparently it wasn’t very good because Holly was voted off early.

Years ago I knew a woman who was a competitive ballroom dancer. At the time she was having a tiff with her professional partner. It was a big deal. I always wanted to have the skill enough to dance with her, but that’s not what turned her key, although it might have piqued her interest. I know those who do it for a living, like the professionals who dance with the stars, work extremely hard at their art. It’s as physical as any sport and people can injure themselves. Muscle pulls, stress fractures (which forced Tom Delay from the competition — and not a day too soon from what I saw), you name it, these athletes can get hurt.

And the women all dance in high heels. Jeez, now that’s hard!

The worst of the show, DWTS, are the judges, aside from the fans who can phone in and vote. They can be insufferably ridiculous, one in particular. For him, the show is all about him and his silly antics. Everyone wants to be the next Simon Cowell.

Who knows, maybe I’ll start watching the program. Women in skimpy clothes, wardrobe malfunctions, hard-core athletes competing with amateurs … I’ll watch again for about ten minutes and then turn it off. There’s only so much bad dancing a person can take.

Posted by Tim Forkes in Media Madness at 08:01 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

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