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Monday, September 13. 2010

Go Figure ...

Just wondering: who in their right mind orders Hooters to go? People do, apparently. Bought a T-shirt at my new favorite Hooters (Lake Forest) from my favorite Hooters Girl, Claudia! If I could find an excuse to put a picture of Claudia in every post, I would! Hell, this is my blog! I don’t need an excuse! I can just do it!

Anyway, bought the black Hooter’s shirt. Got a white one from the now closed Pacific Beach Hooters. That one is going into storage. Can’t let it go the usual way of my favorite shirts — trashed from too much wear and tear.
 Hey Hooters! Reopen the PB store and move Claudia in there!

So, the lovely Claudia racked up my purchase, I mean, rung up my purchase, and put it into a carry out bag! Really? People order Hooters to go? I mean, okay, I really like some of their food; the onion rings and wings in particular, and the “All The Way” hot dog is da bomb! And then a few hours later you got a bomb percolating in your intestines … but it is so worth it!

But, the big reason for stopping at Hooters, is well, the Hooters Girls! Really! Like anyone who knows me finds that hard to believe. The carry out bag got me to thinking and when my brain gets into a useless topic for navel gazing, it don’t let go!

The Hooters Hotline was my first call; gotta give a shout out to the great staff at Lake Forest so the appropriate management can give them the appropriate “atta girls!” I asked the young man answering the phone if he knew what percentage of their business comes from carry out orders. He didn’t know. Maybe someone from management will call back, but it must be significant because they prominently display their carry out service on the Hooters web site.

All right, let’s concede carry out is significant enough they want you to know they’re happy to cater to your needs. I don’t get it, but what do I know? Which brings up another part of their business.

One year my friend George had a party catered by Hooters and had three Hooters Girls present to serve. Now, that would be the only way to do carry out: catered. The Hooters staff carries it out to your location and serves it. The best of both worlds … but you pay a stiff price for the pleasure. Get it? Stiff price? I crack myself up sometimes.

There are a lot of people in this day and age that don’t approve of Hooters. Believe it or not. That whole sexual exploitation thing. In fact, the primary reason I go to Hooters is why those people are opposed to Hooters. Sex is what motivates us, at least one of the instincts that motivate us. We have an instinct for survival and that can be motivating, but if our material needs are met — home, nourishment, security — that leaves just the one instinct with which to lure “us” into a restaurant.

Oh, someone suggests we should use good food to lure us into a restaurant. Well, there are restaurants that serve great food and they advertise it. People go to those restaurants for the food. I like going to Brothers Restaurant in Grantville for the food, and Keith’s on Miramar Rd. right off the I-15.

Some people really don’t like the food at Hooters. Eh, as wings go, Hooters has pretty good fare and you can get it at any level of spiciness, from the wimpy to the most alarming. Great onion rings, nice shrimp, if you like shrimp, really, I like the food, as does my friend John. But he goes mainly for the Hooters Girls as well. Generally at my urging. Doesn’t usually take a lot of urging either.

Enough about the people who don’t like Hooters, for whatever reason they choose not to like Hooters. Back in the 80’s, right after Hooters came into existence, a guy I know wanted to apply at Hooters for a wait position. He thought it was sexist to only allow women to be Hooters Girls and figured he could make a statement and get a payday out of it. Didn’t happen, but it was fun watching this guy make an ass of himself.
 Secretly, and this is just a guess, he probably wanted to wear those tight orange boy shorts.

Now, after 25 years, Hooters is an international powerhouse. Feeling the economy a bit, the primary reason the Pacific Beach Hooters closed, but still quite prominent in the service and restaurant industry. They have a bikini pageant with local contests all over the planet. I went to three this year just to support Claudia. The stores also participate in a lot of charity events, especially those to assist military personnel and their families. Gracias Hooters! They’re more than just lots of cleavage and skimpy outfits. Well, not a lot more than that.
 Dang … even with Claudia at a different store, the PB Hooters was my favorite. Great location overlooking the beach.

Getting back to the original question that spurred this spree, why do people order Hooters to go? Shoot, beats me, but whatever, to each his (or her) own.

The real reason for a blog about Hooters?Well, two really. First of all, give some props to Claudia, but then there’s Alan. I’ve known him for many years and he reads this blog a lot, one of my regular readers. So, I saw him last week and what’s he say? Haven’t had any scantily-clad women featured lately. Really Alan? I mean, what about my denunciation of British Petroleum and the Tea Party crowd? And my memorial to 9/11? All right Alan! It’s not like I don’t want scantily-clad women on this page! But you better click the ads by Google!

Posted by Tim Forkes in Life at 00:03 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

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