The Forkes Report

Tim's Favorite Blogs

The Weather
Ruffle Your Shuffle
Eschew Obfuscation
IM Earthling
Kaki West
Silk Road
The Huffington Post
Talking Points Memo
American Progress
Citizens For Ethics
Crooks And Liars
Common Cause

Media Matters

Blog Directories

Sunday, February 6. 2011

Go Packers!

Today is my favorite holiday! Indeed! Super Bowl Sunday is a holiday! What do we do for and on Super Bowl Sunday? We gather together, family and friends, around a great table filled with feast and drink; we extend our well wishes to people we haven’t seen since the last Super Bowl Sunday—and then we gather ‘round in the living room and watch the tube! Just like on Christmas and Thanksgiving!

I’ll go further out on a limb and say this is at least as important a holiday for most Americans as Thanksgiving and Christmas. We ought to just have Congress formally anoint this Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday, as a national holiday, complete with all the banks and government offices closed on the following Monday!
 Boss: “I need you here Sunday!”
 Astute Employee: “I’d love to sir, but Sunday is the most important holiday of the year and my religion forbids working on Super Bowl Sunday! Except for the womenfolk who have to prepare all the food!”
 Ever notice, and I noticed this as a teenager, that on holidays, when we’re supposed to be at rest from our jobs and school, the women, our mothers, wives, sisters and girlfriends, are working their asses off all day. They actually work harder and longer on holidays!

So, this is just about the biggest Holiday of the year. And this year, two of the over-all best teams in pro football history face off in Dallas—Texas. Can you believe it? A Super Bowl in Dallas??!!?? Whoever thought having Super Bowls in Snow Belt cities was a good idea? Remember the one in Detroit? It’s hard to remember the teams that were in the game, but everyone remembers the location. It just ain’t right! Having a Super Bowl in the snow and cold!
 Actually, there were two Super Bowls held in the Detroit area: the first at the Pontiac Silverdome and the other at Ford Field.

Yeah, Dallas, TX has the new Cowboy Stadium, Jerry Jones’ new home. It’s definitely a great stadium, complete with a retractable roof, but due to recent weather, people will have serious trouble attending.

Back in the day, Super Bowls were held exclusively in Sun Belt cites: Los Angeles, Miami, New Orleans, Tampa, here in Sunny Sandy Eggo — even Stanford University, which isn’t actually warm this time of year, but it ain’t freezing with two feet of snow around the stadium.

If I’m spending the jing to attend a Super Bowl, which is going to run well into the thousands of dollars, just for the tickets alone, then I wanna go someplace warm and comfy where I can absolutely expect to see scantily clad women running around; preferably a beach community like Miami or Sandy Eggo! Bikinis!

Not Dallas! Or Detroit or Minneapolis! Warm weather stadiums. Jerry Jones though, carries a lot of weight in the NFL so if he wants a Super Bowl in his stadium, then he’s going to get one.

Here’s a kick in the balls; years ago the National Football League decided there would never be another super Bowl held at the Murph—I mean Qualcomm Stadium. If San Diego wants another Super Bowl, the city has to provide a new stadium for the Chargers. Well, the city as in, we tax payers and quite possibly the team itself. But who’s really betting on that?

If today’s Super Bowl were being held here, the game would have sunny skies and temperatures in the mid-70’s. Bikini weather. Instead, they have low 50’s in Dallas, with partly cloudy skies. What will the temperature be at game time? If they’re lucky, mid 40’s.

But, the NFL and the San Diego Chargers are holding the city hostage for a new fucking stadium. Why? It “only” holds about 72,000 people for a football game. Think about it: 72,000 people. That’s more people in most of the suburbs of San Diego. But it’s not enough. Cowboy Stadium can hold 110,000 patrons. About 30,000 of those peeps in standing room areas.

Then of course there are the luxury boxes. A million bucks to rent the best of those. There’s a lot of money to be made hosting a Super Bowl, especially if your team plays in that stadium.

So, we, the tax payers, get put on the hook, by our former mayor Susan Golding, for hundreds of thousands of dollars to pay for unsold tickets to Chargers games and the team and the NFL decide we can’t hold a Super Bowl in Qualcomm stadium? We gotta be on the hook for another billion dollars to build a new downtown stadium? Please!

But, that’s the state of the union concerning professional football. The last few years I’ve been betting the Chargers go to the stadium being built in the Los Angeles suburb of City of Industry, but, it turns out, AEG, Anschutz Entertainment Group, has planned and paid for a new downtown stadium in Los Angeles, preferably near the Staples Center where the L.A. Lakers play. They even got a 30-year, $700 million naming rights deal with Farmers Insurance.

Los Angeles will have an NFL team sooner than later and my bet is, when that stadium is finished the team calling it home will be the Los Angeles Chargers. But I’m a cynical bastard. In a recent press conference, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell said the league wants all the current teams to stay in their respective locations. I’m sure he was sincere.

So, my Green Bay Packers are playing the Pittsburgh Steelers in Super Bowl XLV. That’s 45 if you’re trying to figure it out. Green Bay has appeared in four Super Bowls and won three of them, including the first two. They beat the Kansas City Chiefs in SB I, the Oakland Raiders in SB II and the New England Patriots in SB XXXI.

They lost to them effin’ Denver effin’ Broncos in Super Bowl XXXII — right here in effin’ Sandy effin’ Eggo! Effin’ Packers! Sheesh! And no effin’ commentary from the Colorado faction of the family! Bunch of wisenheimers out there, I tell ya.

So they better beat them effin’ Steelers today! All the talkers on TV are picking the Packers, which is a good sign, but in January of 1997 everyone was picking the effin’ Packers to beat the — I hate mentioning it and them — oh man, them effin’ Denver Broncos! Just thinking of it makes me constipated!

The Steelers, well they’ve won … let me look … six? Are you effin’ kidding me??!!?? The Pittsburgh Steelers have won six Super Bowls? Well, they are a great team, a great franchise with a long and majestic history. It’s only fitting that my Packers beat the best in this Super Bowl.

•••• •••• •••• •••• •••• •••• •••• •••• ••••
This is also the 100th birthday of President Ronald Reagan. Whoopee. Okay, he was the Great Communicator, but he still ranks as the second worst president in my lifetime. But, give the man, the legend, the myth, his due. He was a very likable, friendly guy. He didn’t have political enemies, he had political opponents and was often ready willing and enthusiastic to have parties and drinks with his political opponents.

Plus, in my lifetime, he did more for members serving in the armed forces and veterans than any other president. So, he wasn’t all bad. He liked jellybeans! I like jellybeans!

Now it’s time for the Super Bowl. Go Pack!

Posted by Tim Forkes in HOLIDAYS at 15:31 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

(Page 1 of 1, totaling 1 entries)