Friday, June 17. 2011
The really sad news of late: Crystal Harris dumped Hugh Hefner just days before their scheduled wedding. Oh, on the same day her first single became available on iTunes. As Hefner tweeted, “Coincidence? I think not.”
Ouch! Crystal! She was on some show with Ryan Seacrest explaining why she dumped Hefner just five days before their wedding and the same day her single was released. “For a while I’ve been having second thoughts about everything. I haven’t really been at peace with myself lately. I didn’t think it was really fair to him. It was all happening too fast for me. .... Was this what I wanted?”
A little background might be in order here.
As anyone who follows this sort of stuff will tell you, Hefner had a long-term relationship with Holly Madison. That ended when Hef made it clear he didn’t want to get married and/or have children. In fact, he can’t have any more kids because his sperm count is too low.
This was all public because Hef and Holly — and Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson — were in the celebrated cable show, The Girls Next Door at the time. Everyone tuned in. Well no, not everyone, but enough people to make the four celebrity sensations.
Once Hefner and Madison split, the other two girlfriends took their leave as well.
And then, before the next season of GND started, Hefner once again filled up the spare rooms with three new girlfriends, twins Karissa and Kristina Shannon and his “Main Squeeze,” Crystal Harris. The show must go on!
So, late last year, after Hef and Harris made their engagement public, everyone who gives a damn about this posed the question, “I wonder what Holly thinks?” Or “I wonder how Holly feels about this?”
It didn’t take long to find out because, as is often the case in the world of “reality” TV, Holly has her own show on the same network and she went, with cameras in tow, to the Palms Hotel Resort in Las Vegas, to meet with Hef and Harris. Holly had doubts, but wished them well anyway.
This all sounds so incestuous. Holly Madison is famous because she had this affair with Hugh Hefner that was broadcast on TV every week for five years. Because of that, she gets her own show, which is treated like a spin off from GND. And then she goes to … I gotta stop! My head is spinning!
The other two went on their own ways as well. Kendra Wilkinson married footballer Hank Baskett, currently with the Minnesota Vikings and Bridget Marquardt got her own show, a travel show about sexy beaches. While on GND Bridget got her Masters degree, I forget the major. Good for her!
Back to Holly … err … yeah. This web can be confusing. So, having actually been in love with Hefner, Madison was concerned that any girls that followed her and her former girlfriend … err … mates? … would only be in it for the money and publicity. Which wasn’t exactly why Madison, Marquardt and Wilkinson became Hefner’s posse of girlfriends. Well, that was probably part of it, but the TV show hadn’t really gotten off the ground at that point.
Anyway, Madison had doubts about Crystal Harris. There was just something that didn’t seem right about Harris. Of course, the common wisdom circulating about the denizens of the Playboy forums was that Madison was just spewing sour grapes. Hef had spurned her for someone younger.
Oh yes, Playboy.com has a users forum, a message boards if you will where hundreds of Playboy.com subscribers chat each day, some more than others.
Some of these folks spend hours upon hours in these forums and quite frankly it can be quite entertaining. Oh the rivalries, fiefdoms and harems!
Not that I would know much about it …
Back to Holly Madison: she was more than a little hurt Hefner was willing to marry Harris but not her. Who wouldn’t be? Madison had been given a job as a photo editor, one of the people who picked women to be submitted to Hefner for the possibility of being a Playmate. Some people thought her input on the subject was beneficial. The rest of us, not so much.
Once she and Hefner split, she quit that job and moved to Las Vegas to be with her new boyfriend, the magician-mindfreak guy, can’t remember his name — Chris Angel.
So, fast forward: Madison is in Las Vegas, the magician is history and she has her own show; Marquardt is … I don’t know, laying naked on a warm beach somewhere, Wilkinson is off having babies with the football player, first in Philadelphia and then on her own in Los Angeles and Hef and Harris have dumped the Shannon Twins to live in pre-matrimonial bliss.
And then Tuesday, June 14, 2011 arrived …
Unconfirmed reports were that Harris and Hefner had a terrible feud over the weekend and Harris stormed out. And then unconfirmed reports from anonymous friends of Harris said she had this planned all along, to wait until the July issue of the magazine was being shipped for release so she could simultaneously release her song on iTunes and dump Hefner to gain all that extra publicity.
You see, Harris is on the cover of the July issue as “Mrs. Crystal Hefner” and she has a feature inside. And if Harris’s exit from Playboyland was indeed so calculated, then that would make her a supreme bitch.
Hugh Hefner got dumped at the altar — well, nearly — in a very public and embarrassing manner. Even if it wasn’t a cold and calculated plot by Harris, it was a very hurtful thing to do. If she had been having doubts she shouldn’t have waited so long to leave and to do it on the same day her single drops on iTunes, that suggests a little more than just a change of heart.
How did Hugh M. Hefner spend Thursday Night? He watched 50 First Dates with about a half dozen Playmates. Dude, even on your worst days you have it pretty good … but I’m sure it still hurts like a motherfucker.
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