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Monday, July 4. 2011
235 Years and Counting
It’s the 4th of July Weekend! A three-day weekend! Unless of course you’re unemployed, which means this could be, potentially, an endless weekend. Then of course we have our first responders who will be working one or all of these three days. Years ago I used to volunteer to work most holidays: double time and a half! Ooo-rah!
But never the 4th of July or Memorial Day. Both are pretty sacred in this house. Some people worship a god of one type or another — or gods — but I pay homage to the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution! To each their own they say.
My lovely sister Elaine, who has been honored for over a week here, respected both the Christian God and our nation, in that order of course. She and I came to an understanding once, concerning spirituality. We agreed that although our understanding of “God” might be different, we probably worshiped the same being — or entity. I couldn’t really say, with any authority, her understanding of God is wrong. She, like most of my other sisters and brothers, so firmly believed, it was working in her life. If she is in Heaven I hope she gets to listen to all the fine, fine music she loves.So, if I may take off on a tangent, as if tangents are foreign in this blog, here’s an interesting picture of what Heaven could look like for each individual: it is comprised of all the worldly pleasure we participated in or only wished we had. This idea of 72 virgins is in the ballpark for me, although I’d prefer 5-10 pros, women who know how to … you know. Yeah, my vision is fairly pedestrian, but toss in all the music I like, including Lady Gaga and Christina Aguilera — seriously — not to mention Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream, now you’re talking!
Your Heaven would reflect you of course. Now, this isn’t a new idea and I’m not the first person to suggest it, but I’m just saying, that’s a nice vision of Heaven!But this is the 4th of July, celebrating the birth of our nation 235 years ago. Besides First Responders, there is one other segment of our population that is, for the most part, working this weekend: our military. Especially the men and women in foreign lands. Mostly we think of Iraq and Afghanistan when we think of the troops, but there are troops stationed in many far away places and on holidays like today, there is extra duty so very few are getting a three-day weekend.
Those stationed in non-combat areas, like South Korea, the Middle East, Japan and Europe even, they are targets of extremists and terrorists all the time, but especially on this, our most revered national holiday. I will guarantee you that tonight and every night, there are Marines, Sailors, Soldiers and Airman walking dark and lonely guard posts in places like Aviano Air Force Base in Italy, or the island of Diego Garcia, Sasebo in Japan, Camp Hansen, Okinawa and Panzer Kaserne in Stuttgart, Germany, to name just a few.
Somebody walks those posts 365 days and nights a year, whether it’s a holiday or not. They just do it because somebody has to and the men and women who are walking a post tonight, it was just their turn.
Just about 71 years ago British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill spoke these stirring words about the men and women fighting the Battle of Britain: “Never in the field of human conflict has so much been owed by so many to so few.”In today’s America, the same could be said of our Armed Forces. Maybe 3% of Americans are actually in uniform at this time, a rather small minority and all of them volunteered. There is no such thing as “shared sacrifice” in America, not by a long shot. At least not when it comes to serving our country.
“Oh hey, this is the 4th of July, we should be patriotic and rah-rah for the country”
Yeah, maybe, but the fact is, there is one segment of our population that is over-represented in the military: the poor and less affluent. Those who can afford to bypass the military and go to college do so. But that’s all right. Most of the people who do join the military do it out of a sense of pride. We happen to love our nation and want to serve.
So, while they are in some far away land, with people trying to kill them, feeling a bit lonely and homesick, more than a few will reflect on their present situation and take a small measure of pride from the fact that while the rest of us enjoyed those burgers and ribs on the barbecue, they will have been that first line of defense protecting our right to sit out in the back yard, or out at the park or beach, having a good time celebrating the founding of The United States.
Next time you see an active duty military person, ask him or her if they had “The Duty” on the 4th of July. So much is owed by so many to so few.Despite everything, the United States has more freedom than most anywhere else on the planet. We can spend the day at the beach, without having to produce documents, we can travel across the country, without papers and we can go to any number of grocery stores and buy all the goodies that go into making a good 4th of July cookout! My brother-in-law Lloyd is a champion barbecue master and boy, I’d love to be in Sealy, Texas today. Damn he’s got something cooking and I don’t even wanna imagine anymore ’cause it will no doubt be way better than anything I cook up!
Lloyd — Bleu — is also a Navy vet: SeaBees.
We have the freedom to engage in just about any manner of lifestyle we like, from the ultra extremist religious, to the most licentious. Of course, sex between consenting adults isn’t completely legal. It is in Nevada, but that’s the only place. Still, a person can find all sorts of … fun … in the U.S. of A!
Years ago, back when I was but a young Lance Corporal in the United States Marine Corps, I got my first subscription to Playboy magazine. I thought I had arrived into adulthood when that first issue came in the mail: April 1975! 1974 Playmate of the Year Cyndi Wood on the cover, Dustin Hoffman was the interview subject, Washington Post Editor-in-Chief Ben Bradlee wrote an article with off the record conversations he had with our 35th president, John F. Kennedy. Actress Valerie Perrine was the celebrity nude pictorial and she most definitely was nude! Now a days we rarely get any true celebrities, mostly D-list or reality TV “stars” and even then what passes for a nude pictorial … eh. The worst was Heidi Montag. Don’t know her? Lucky you. Teri Polo, from the “Fockers” franchise of films, posed a few years back. Complete full frontal.
Also in that issue: Miss April 1975 Victoria Cunningham! DAMMIT! My love affair with Playboy Playmates was on! Actually, it had been turned on years earlier when I caught a look at the December 1968 issue featuring Playmate Cynthia Myers! Victoria Cunningham just happened to be my first as a subscriber! A couple years before that I bought a few issues one summer while living in Florida. The cover of the August 1973 issue is etched in my memory forever! Cyndi Wood once again, completely nude, but strategically posed. That has to be the most sexually charged cover in the magazine’s history!
Originally Miss February 1973, Cyndi later became the 1974 Playmate of the Year. But, in the centerfold for that August 1973 issue was Phyllis Coleman. It’ll be a long time before we see a Playmate named Phyllis.The Playmate that really caught my eye in 1975 was Miss October Jill De Vries. Man! Talk about a HOT centerfold!
“Where is this going Tim,” you might be asking with some concern and frustration. Well, I’ll tell you! It’s going to March 1978. Well, it starts on December 26, 1977. Okay, the back-story: I was slightly inebriated and had a mishap that landed me in Kuwae Naval Hospital, Okinawa, Japan. I flipped a motorcycle and sadly I was on it at the time.
Anyway, if you’ve never been a patient in a ward of a military hospital, let me tell you, it’s sad, lonely and boring. If that hospital is overseas, like Kuwae on Okinawa, you get damn few visitors, none of whom are family. At least not back in that time. Our government wouldn’t spend a nickel to get family to injured service members overseas, or anywhere else.
We did have a visit from the reigning Miss America, Dorothy Benham, and her runners-up. But, what got everyone’s attention was the arrival of my March 1978 issue of Playboy. Miss January 1978 Debra Jensen was on the cover getting out of a hot car, but the centerfold — MY GOD! — the sexiest C-fold photo in the history of the magazine! Photographer Arny Freytag’s first! Marilyn Grabowski was the veteran photo editor/producer.And the Playmate was Christina Smith! Miss March! She will always be Miss March to me! We keep in touch these days and were she single today I’d kick all the rest (like there are others!) of you women to the curb!
Anyway, every patient on that ward — all men — had to see Christina’s centerfold. That magazine made the rounds — everyday. We just had to view it! And no, we weren’t … err … using it, if you get my drift, as most of us were so medicated the blood just wasn’t … engorging … that center of interest, so to speak.
Now, we also had the January and February issues and the centerfolds of Debra Jensen (January) and Janis Schmitt (February) were pretty hot as well, but Miss March. Aye-yi-yi!
The thing is, we had few visitors in that ward. Aside from the Miss America visit, all we had were guys from our units, mostly delivering our mail (including those magazines and on one occasion, some small bottles of Jack Daniels), and those visits were infrequent, so we relied on those magazines for company. We did a lot of things to occupy our time, like play cards and in my case, learn to draw, but when we wanted a break from our reality, out would come the magazines and the collective favorite — my favorite — was Miss March!Playmates — and by extension Playboy — have a long history of being there for the troops. And veterans for that matter. Founder Hugh M. Hefner himself is an Army veteran. No shit! So, it was no small matter to him when 1965 Playmate of the Year Jo Collins started the tradition of Playmates visiting the troops around the world when she joined the USO in South Vietnam.
Actually, her first visit was to deliver the first copy of a lifetime subscription to Army Lieutenant Jack Price of the 173rd Airborne Brigade. After that she would appear with Mr. USO himself, Bob Hope. Collins received the nickname of “G.I. Jo” for her dedication to the troops. Semper Fi Jo!
Although the puritanical [expletives deleted] have stopped Playboy Playmates from joining the USO tours, Hefner hosts the annual Stars and Stripes event at the Playboy Mansion, raising money and awareness for our troops and their families.But, we can count on many comedians, musicians and Hooters Girls to keep our troops entertained. Every year Hooters put on Operation Calendar Drop in which patrons can buy Hooters Calendars and have them sent to our troops over seas, most signed by some of the Hooters girls in the calendar! Semper Fi Hooters!
My favorite Hooters Girl, as always, is Claudia! Currently she is working at the Santa Monica Hoots but will soon be in the Downtown L.A. store when it opens.
This is running on pretty long, but I don’t give a damn. It’s the 4th of Fuckin’ July. I’ve witnessed a lot of them in my life and every year the lump in my throat gets heavier. Yes, I’m proud to be an American, but it’s bigger than that. I’m just a small cog in this big beautiful mosaic we call the United States of America and when I travel down to the beach, passing Mission Bay Park and all the families having their picnics, it gives me a smile that on this day most of us can relax a little, have some fun and celebrate America’s rich pageant.
To the men and women serving our nation, here and abroad today: mucho gracias. That includes “civilian” government employees as well. You can be assured that State Department employees in Dubai or Singapore or Australia — pick a country — are wishing they were at home, having that barbecue in the park or their own backyard. We salute all of you!And here’s to our Founding Fathers — and the women who pushed them to succeed. Thank you for 235 years of America!
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