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Friday, January 20. 2012
The Great Hope — Gone
The Great White (Conservative) Hope has dropped out of the race for the Republican nomination for president. Rick Perry, the Texas governor who once threatened to secede from the union, taking his state with him; the man who, in August 2011, was hailed as the Great White (Conservative) Hope of the Republican Party and had millions … well, maybe hundreds … of Republicans practically begging him to get in the race so the party would not have to field the Massachusetts Liberal Mitt Romney as their (cover your ears kids) nominee for President of the United States.Before he declared his intentions, Perry’s poll numbers were through the roof. He was almost as popular as Katy Perry! He held his gigantua prayer-palooza in that big stadium in Houston, TX and then declared his candidacy to be the Republican Nominee for President of the United States of America.
Hallelujah and Praise be to Jesus! Conservative voices rose up in prayer to rejoice: here was the Christian Conservative they needed to represent them, the only man (if you didn’t include New Jersey Governor Chris Christie) who could possibly be capable of beating that evil, Socialist Muslim Extremist Fascist, Barack Hussein Obama.
Psst! Hey! You know, none of us really wants to say this, but let’s get real: this Obama character is Black! Let’s be honest, no good White Christian wants a Black man for president! Remember the good ole days when we didn’t have to see’em in the same restaurants as us? And now we got one as president! Psst! I know at least one conservative who doesn’t hold the color of the president’s skin against him and I would guess there are many more, but from the anti-Obama spam e-mails I get, that racism is obviously real.
Then, once he got in, Governor Perry began to speak and the news outlets began to pay attention when he did. Pollsters could take polls twice a day and mark the decline of Perry’s popularity. His performances in the debates became the fodder for any comedian, late night or otherwise. It got so bad even his competitors were feeling sorry for Perry, giving him cover whenever the press asked them about Perry’s newest gaffe.
In the Iowa Caucuses and the New Hampshire Primaries, Perry did just good enough to stay eligible for the debates and like many a Republican candidate before him, Perry pinned his hopes on the ultra-conservative state of South Carolina. History has proven that the person who wins the Republican Primaries in the Palmetto State becomes the nominee for the Republican Party.
Alas, even after his performance in the debate this past Monday, January 16, in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, when he had the gathered South Carolinians standing and cheering for his call to arms against the federal government, Governor Rick Perry couldn’t get a bump from the voters, at least not in the polls.
During the debate Perry said South Carolina was at war with the federal government and got the loudest applause, including from Republican Governor Nikki Haley who nodded her head in agreement.
So Thursday, January 19, 2012, the rootin’ shootin’ governor of Texas, once the Great White (Conservative) Hope, bowed out of the presidential race, just two days before the South Carolina Primary.
What could have been the ultimate slap in the face, the penultimate insult to Perry, was that Social Conservative leaders gathered in his state to pick a nominee they would support in opposition to that Massachusetts Liberal Mit Romney. Did they choose the man who hosted that Prayer-Palooza in Houston? He is, without question, a good Social Conservative Protestant Christian; he looked like the obvious choice. But no, those Social Conservatives chose a Catholic, former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum, to represent them!
Are you shittin’ me? One of those effin’ papists who pray to more than one god, one of which is that guy in the Vatican? Now that’s gotta hurt, if you’re Rick Perry.
Until he dropped out of the race, Perry’s efforts to unseat that Massachusetts Liberal Mit Romney were matched by those from the former Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich. Both Perry and Gingrich attacked Romney over his wealth and how Romney’s former employer, Bain Capital, did business.
My God! Perry and Gingrich were leveling Obama-esque charges against the front-runner. But it was having the effect they were hoping for: Romney’s support was falling.
So it should come as little surprise that as he bowed out Perry threw his support behind the former Speaker. And as Perry said, Newt isn’t perfect, “but who among us is?”
The childish grammar aside, confirming Perry’s assertion about Gingrich’s frailties, is the former Speaker’s second wife Marianne, who told ABC news that when she was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis her then-husband Newt was already fucking his current wife Callista and he was asking her if it would be okay to have an open marriage so he could have at least two women. Do you remember when Gingrich explained his cheating ways were the result of his deep patriotism?
So Newt Gingrich marches on, carrying the standard for Rick Perry and all those Social Conservatives who can’t believe they will be stuck with another liberal (Senator John McCain was the first one) as their party’s nominee for president, come November 6, 2012. And the Liberal this time ain’t even a Christian — he’s a Mormon!
Just an aside here; I was just looking up Callista Gingrich on the World Wide Internets to be sure her name is spelled correctly here and found this out: the third Mrs. Newt Gingrich was born and raised in Whitehall, WI and worked as a Congressional Aide for Wisconsin Republican Representative Steve Gunderson. I wonder if Gunderson considers himself somewhat of a matchmaker?
But what of the front-runner, former Governor of Massachusetts, Mit Romney? Well, he fights back, through his Super Pac, but besides his murky history with Bain Capital and once liberal views as governor, we now know Romney is firmly a part of the 1%, paying 15% of his income to taxes because most of it is capital gains income. On top of that there’s an undetermined amount parked in Cayman Island banks to avoid the IRS.Should the Republican Party be worried about the 2012 Presidential Elections? Nearly six months ago the Harpy (Ann Coulter) said that if the GOP didn’t nominate New Jersey Governor Chris Christie as their presidential candidate, they would be stuck with Romney and lose the election to President Obama.
You know, this time she might be right.
Thursday the four remaining combatants went at it again, this time in Charleston, SC. The fur flew from the very first question from debate moderator, John King of CNN. The question was for the former Speaker of the House and it was about the allegations from his first ... no, his second ... wife Marianne. Did he really ask her if they could have an open marriage?
Tomorrow comes the answer.
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