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Sunday, May 21. 2006
Let’s Choose Racey
Britney Spears with infant son Sean
(Photo courtesy “A Socialite's Life”)
(Photo courtesy “A Socialite's Life”)
“News? What news?”
“Can’t afford no shoes”
It’s a crazy world we don’t live in, we “mere mortals” who only wish we could hob-knob with the likes of Rosario Dawson and Kid Rock. Is he still famous? Anyway, at Dawson’s 27th birthday party, Tommy Hilfiger got tough with Axl Rose and punched out the tough guy former lead singer of Guns n’ Roses. The party was taking place at Plumm, a New York nightclub. Rose and his band were the featured entertainment for the affair.
Ever notice that celebrities don’t have parties, they have events? Birthday parties are like awards shows, only the “A” list people are invited, and if they ain’t comin’, invite Kid Rock.
So, Hilfiger punched Rose in a flurry that would make any lightweight amateur boxer proud and Rose … didn’t retaliate although he and his band did the song “You’re Crazy” and dedicated it to his good friend Tommy.
And here’s one for the ages: Ozzie Osbourne’s 20 year old son Jack just signed a deal with a British publisher to write his autobiography. Apparently, a lot of living goes into being the son of the man who eats bats on stage.
Not to be outdone in the “who the hell cares” spotlight, Brangelina — Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie for anyone who might not recognize the single name — have sold the photo rights of their expected child to an American celebrity magazine, most likely US, for nearly $5,000,000.00. But, Angelina is not the selfish type. The money won’t be used to spritz up the nursery, she and Brad will be donating the money to UNICEF. Good for them.
Halle Berry had a righteous indignation moment during an interview on BBC radio. The DJ tried to imitate a “big, fat” Brooklyn black man and Berry asked, “Are we having a racist moment?” The BBC says no, of course.
“Went to buy some cheap detergent
Some emergent nation
Got my load
That I stowed”
Then there’s Chris Daughtry, he of the bald head and one of the latest to be hustled off of American Idol (May 10). He’s still famous for being one of the losers. I forgot why he is most recently famous.
Here’s another “could be funny” celebrity moment: There’s a video on the Internet showing Britney Spears tripping while holding her child. Now, that’s not too shocking, most parents I know have heart-pounding moments with the kids now and then. What I found truly shocking was her clothing, blue jeans with a low-cut, long white dress-looking blouse affair — and underneath that was a black brassiere, the straps ingloriously visible and from the back, the bra completely visible. Apparently that video is pretty popular right now, maybe even more so than the Paris Hilton video, which you can now read about on IMDB.com and can be purchased through Amazon.com. What concerns me is this ghastly fashion trend of allowing the straps of your support garment to be so hideously visible.
I’m not too sure what’s going on in my head if my attention is turned towards celebrity and celebrity stalking. It came about while listening to Frank Zappa’s “Can’t Afford No Shoes” and the lyrics spoke to the great divide between the rich and us.
On one of the tabloid magazine web sites there is a poll: “Should the paparazzi leave Brad and Angelina alone?” the only two choices being “Yes” and “No.” I voted “No” just to see the results and 84% of those responding chose “Yes.” That’s kind of shocking. The very people who read those magazines and frequent their websites are the very people who give the paparazzi license to stalk celebrities and otherwise ruin a peaceful Sunday afternoon by chasing celebrities all over town trying to get a few photos.
We vote “yes” on the survey, but “No” every time we buy one of those tabloids. Were we so interested in the comings and goings of our political figures.
Can you imagine a phalanx of paparazzi tagging along behind Randy “Duke” Cunningham as he raced from his boat — I mean, Mitchell Wade’s boat — on the Potomac River to the poker and hooker parties in the Watergate? It may have been good reading for a week until the F.B.I. started investigating. Then the former congressman would have an F.B.I. tail and the paparazzi. What do you want to bet Cunningham gets a pardon in 2009? Can’t imagine the Republican Party is going to let such a prolific fund-raiser like Cunningham be tossed off the political stage when their standard-bearer can let him off the hook at the end of his administration.
Consider the possibilities if paparazzi had been skulking about Armstrong Ranch back in February when the Vice President accidentally shot his friend, Harry Whittington. It’s not likely the public disclosure of the incident would have taken such a circuitous route. Oh please, don’t respond that “it was just an accident!” I’m not disputing that.
Had paparazzi trailed Tom Delay and his pal Jack Abramoff, especially when they went golfing in Scotland — and where was the fabled British tabloid press on that one? Well, they have their hands full with the Royal Family, but still …
Our country is in the state it is because we have far more fascination with celebrity than we do civic affairs. The winners — and losers — of the so-called “reality” shows get far more of our attention than our elected representatives, so much so that they operate invisibly with little or no public scrutiny until a couple of careless congressmen get caught up in scandal. It’s a pretty good bet Cunningham would still be collecting his bribes if someone hadn’t noticed his house, when it was sold to Mitchell Wade, was over-valued almost 100%.
Still, a picture of Lindsey Lohan or Paris Hilton in an embarrassing moment — can’t beat that for eye-catching news. Lindsay? Paris? : Lindsay? Paris? Oh God, what a decision ... Let’s go with Britney.
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