A Halloween Trick

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Saturday, October 31. 2009

Today is Halloween. I’ve been wondering what to do: should I wear a costume, paint my face like a Zombie or wear a big, scary pig head mask and scare the bejesus out of the little ones who come to the door looking for candy. I sort of like that last choice best. As a kid, scaring the bejesus out of people was a passionate hobby. Learned it from my brothers Rick and Carl who took great joy from scaring the bejesus out of me.

My friend Claudia dressed up in a sexy kitty costume. She’s a sweetheart. And then there’s Heather, she’s in a sexy sailor outfit. Well, I was quite the naughty Marine in my time. My Good Catholic upbringing tells me I should be ashamed of myself … eh … I’ll pass. I need to stop staring at them so I can complete this little blog.

People my age get dressed up, but we hardly look sexy anymore. I’d like to pull off a sexy Dracula look one year … but the good Count never had a spare tire, stomach paunch and droopy, saggy eyes with wrinkles. Well, maybe he did but the Hollywood make-up people eliminated it all.

Then of course there was Grandpa on the Munsters. Al Lewis, as good a vampire as any we’ve seen on screen. He made us laugh! Well, I could dress up as Grandpa Muntser! The only thing is, you don’t want people to think you’re Jack Nicholson’s Joker from that first Batman movie.

Not that there’s anything wrong with playing the Joker, that would be a cool costume, but I’ve had my heart set on playing a vampire for decades. Grandpa Munster, the Al Lewis edition, that’s the costume for me!

But not this year. On Friday I woke up, fully expecting to go to the J.O.B., took my shower, did all the things in preparation for successful employment. But then I started up with some coughing fits, sneezing, the runny nose soon followed and voila, I was coming down with something.

Having had open heart surgery and pneumonia this year already, the latter brought about when I rode my bike while sick, taking any chances, second guessing my symptoms, was not a choice. Not a smart choice anyway. So, after making a few phone calls and securing a ride to my employer to pick up my check and deposit it in the bank, I got some friends who insisted I needed to get to the hospital to check it out immediately. So, off to the V.A. hospital I went.

So, for about five hours I sat around waiting to see nurses and doctors who gave me an EKG, just to be sure my heart was working properly — or as properly as it can — and chest X-rays to see if there was any fluid in and around my lungs. Both tests were negative. Heart and lungs were just fine.

Going into the hospital I knew there would be only one of two choices here: influenza, possibly the dreaded H1N1 (swine flu) or a relapse of the pneumonia. While waiting, and the V.A. gives you a lot of time to contemplate what’s going on, I tried to decide which would be worse: the swine flu or pneumonia.

After everything printed and broadcast about swine flu, people dying left and right — especially people with health issues similar to mine — that sent a shiver up and down the spine. Then of course there was pneumonia. If that were the case, it was very likely I would be in the hospital for at least a week. Oh man! No computer, no Facebook, no sitting around watching whatever the Hell I want on TV. Been there and done that all ready this year.

Had to share a room with an old crazy man for a week. I actually saw him fart at his food and then eat it. It’s not like he tried to fart at his food, it just happened. Spending another week (or two) in the hospital just does not fill me with gratitude.

So, I decided the flu would be the better choice, although if it was serious, I could still end up in the hospital. When I finally saw the doctor, answered all his questions and pointed out several things, one in particular: I don’t have asthma, my primary care provider prescribed the inhalers as part of the therapy for the pneumonia, I asked, “Which is worse: the swine flu or pneumonia?” The good doctor assured me the pneumonia was the worst of the two.

That was a relief since I was diagnosed with the flu. “Swine flu,” I asked? Indeed. “It’s the only flu going around San Diego right now,” the doctor told me. Well that’s an interesting observation. If you’re living in San Diego and come down with flu-like symptoms, it’s a very good bet you have swine flu.

This is nothing to scoff at. Granted, mine is pretty mild at the moment. I have hellish coughing and sneezing fits, but the fever has broken. The doctor told me I’d be good for work on Monday, most likely, and maybe I will. But I’m really glad I took the time to see the doctor Friday, catch this early and take care of it.

This year, go see a doctor if you get sick, or if your kids get sick. Swine flu, for whatever reason, is more deadly for young people — even those in the 20’s. Despite my health issues, the doctor said I wasn’t in the most “at risk” group. But you might be at risk.

Posted by Tim Forkes in HOLIDAYS at 12:01 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

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