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Sunday, February 14. 2010

Saint Valentine’s Day!

Today is Saint Valentine’s Day, when all our thoughts turn to romance and love. Eh, I have no one to “love” today, in that rather narrow concourse called romance, but I love a lot of women! And I ain’t referring to the models that populate my friends list on MySpace, although for them: I like quite a few — met many of them — but mainly it’s lust, pure and simple.

Well, maybe there are a couple that could and would have my heart tied up in knots of anguished ardor. I can’t do romance without worry and stress. There’s always the looking good part, the good grooming. Then the saying the right things and not saying all the wrong things; not getting all twisted inside when I’m not with them and then getting vexed beyond description when I am with them … it’s enough to drive a man insane!

The worst thing a man can do is take his lover for granted. Well, next to abusing her of course. The other bad thing to do in a relationship is to always be looking for the next girl who might be coming around that corner. That’s probably my worst offense, although taking someone for granted ranks high on my list of faults.

Guys are rarely satisfied. There are some who are satisfied with their spouses, I may even know one — two tops … well okay, three, but I ain’t naming names — but for the most part, men are always striking up conversations with every woman they come in contact with in social settings. Especially if the women are attractive. And especially married/taken men.

It’s not like most of them would actually cheat on or dump their spouses, but married/taken guys get a vicarious sexual thrill whenever they get the opportunity to give another woman a hug or kiss. The married/taken guys reading this will vehemently deny it, and that’s okay. It’s all part of the sexual dance.

Me, I much prefer shaking hands. There are a few women in my life I hug because we know each other well enough that there won’t be any mistake in our motives. Not to say my motives with every woman I hug are pure. Not in the least. There is one woman I’ll hug today because she is not just a sweet friend, but she is curvaceous and sexy and let’s face it, having her tight up against my body for a few seconds feels pretty damn good! And she knows it — I told just about as much.

But, it’s not likely she and I will become lovers … sigh … my relationships never last long anyway. Maybe my view on relationships is a bit skewed, but trying to measure up to some ideal, usually one I’ve implanted in the relationship through my innate ability to over think every situation, just seems so hard and time-consuming.

This is just a humorous aside: guitarist/singer John Mayer is interviewed in the latest issue of Playboy. He talks about his relationships with the famous women he’s dated, like Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston. In so many words, he said he couldn’t help disappointing them because he’s only 32 and he’s gotta act like a 32 year old man.

But then he goes on to say he’s done with quickie sex romps and hooking up with a woman just because she looks hot. Really? Mayer claims he prefers masturbating to actual sex. Talk about complicated. Well, I see his point though: when you’re done with yourself you don’t have to roll over in the morning and ask someone, “How you doin’?”

Prostitutes are good, if you can afford them as a steady diet — like Tiger Woods. “I wanna be like Tiger!” Several of the women who are reported to have had sex with Woods said they were well paid for their time and services. I’m so envious — a few of them are/were Playboy models.

This is getting a little far a field from Valentine’s Day, but what does a single person think and write about on this day? Sex, mainly. No poet writes a great verse of love unless he or she is in love. When they aren’t in love, they’re lamenting love lost or unrequited and even worse, the vagaries and pitfalls of being single.
 You know, I feel duped by all the love songs I grew up with in the 1960’s. It was all bullshit! If my views on love and sex are skewed I blame the pop music of the ‘60’s.
 Except for Connie Francis. “Where the Boys Are” is one of my favorite songs!

Of course, I may be a little jaded, even for a single man. Sheesh, even when I was in love I didn’t have a clue and no amount of Shakespeare or Neruda could change that.

 In this part of the story I am the one who
Dies, the only one, and I will die of love because I love you,
Because I love you, Love, in fire and blood.
 Pablo Neruda, “I Do Not Love You, Except Because I Love You”

No help there, that one, other than to confirm my anguish over being in love. So, what am I thinking about as I write? Not love, not even romance. Actually, I’m wondering what my friends who are married or taken are doing for their significant others. A couple dozen roses, great chocolate and a romantic dinner sounds like a good idea. Hell, I don’t know. My friend Greg bought his wife a new car.

So, until that day comes, if that day ever comes, when I find myself in love and in a relationship with the one I love, romantic love is just an abstract topic of conversation. I mean, do we even get to choose who we fall in love with?

Until then, to the women in my life who enrich it with their wit and personalities, the ones I was thinking of when this essay began: thank you and Happy Valentine’s Day! I appreciate your love and forbearance.

Posted by Tim Forkes in HOLIDAYS at 12:01 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

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