The Forkes Report - Sports

It’s Super Bowl Sunday!

nospam@example.com (Tim Forkes) — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 08:01:00 -0700

Once in a while I’ll wonder why I haven’t received any phone calls all day and then notice the ringer on my phone is turned off. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. It’s a great way to escape from everyone and everything. Today (Saturday) I missed out on a party.

Called my friend who left two messages and he had made other plans. It was evident in his voice in those messages he was disappointed. Hell, I would be too.

It’s not like I consciously decide to leave the ringer off, but life just doesn’t seem important enough to check to see that it’s on. It’s on now, but at a very quiet setting.
•••• •••• ••••• •••• ••••
This is interesting: Adam Lambert, the guy who should have won the ninth season of American Idol, has joined Queen as the singer of course. Could anyone really replace Freddie Mercury? Not really, but Lambert has a great voice and ought to do Freddie proud. Hell, he could even pull off doing the make-up thing ala Sheer Heart Attack. Just saying.

This is what really made me stop and stutter: Brian May, the astounding guitarist for Queen, is 64. Damn. Reminds me that Sheer Heart Attack was released when I was in high school about 40 years ago.

Today is Super Bowl Sunday, the biggest single day sports event in the world. The World Cup is bigger, but only because it goes on for months and teams from around the world compete.

More money will be bet on the Super Bowl than at any other time. The game looks to be one of the most competitive and high scoring games in history. The New England Patriots are the favorites, their odds being -3.5. In other words, to win a dollar (if the Pats win) you have to wager $3.50. So you’d get $4.50 were the Pats to win. No one bets a dollar.

Odds on the Giants are +3.5. You bet a dollar and if the Giants win you get back your dollar plus $3.50. Simple. If you’re making a straight bet and don’t have a dog in this fight, bet on the Giants. You might lose, but if you win you’ll more that triple your money.

The “smarter” bet is to predict beating the point spread or “taking the points” if you expect the Giants to beat the spread. The Pats are predicted to win by three points. So, if you expect the Pats to win bigger, you’ll get close to an even money return. The sports books take a commission, the vig, which cuts into your winnings.

Conversely, you can bet the Giants to beat the spread. They can still lose, but if the final score is less than three points difference, you win. Of course if the Giants win you’ll wish you had bet them to win. So, do both if you’re betting on the Giants.

Really, betting the Giants to win is the best bet. If they win you get more money on your return. It’s not like horse or dog racing where you have multiple competitors in a race with different odds. It’s a very straight and formal action and result.

On the other hand you can bet the over and under of the final score which is over 50 points total. I would bet the under … or not. Both teams have gunslinger quarterbacks and excellent offenses and both teams have below average defenses. It actually could be a high scoring game.

Were I to make the trip to Caliente in Tijuana, Mexico, my bets would be: Giants to win, take the points and bet the under. All those other bets: total score quarter-by-quarter, who score first, longest play for a score, number of penalties called, I would pass on them. On the other hand I might bet on the number of turnovers. Both quarterbacks, Eli Manning and Tom Brady, have had their share of picks and fumbles.

The experts say this may be the most thrilling Super Bowl since the San Francisco 49ers beat the Cincinnati Bengals in Super Bowl XVI. Eh, who knows? Who even remembers? Shit, I was no doubt wasted and probably passed out before the game ended. Quarterback Joe Montana became known throughout the land and remembered forever and his opposing QB Ken Anderson faded into obscurity.

Today’s two QB’s are both well known, both are considered “elite,” and we may see both pass for 300-plus yards. Neither one will be forgotten regardless of the outcome. Eli Manning of the Giants has a chance to do what his brother hasn’t done: win a second Super Bowl. Tom Brady has a chance to join a very elite group of quarterbacks who have won four rings: Terry Bradshaw and Joe Montana.

Ironically, the last time Brady had that opportunity, his Patriots were unbeaten in the 2007 season. Alas the New York Giants dashed his chance for a fourth ring and the Patriots’ perfect season on the doorstep of despair in Super Bowl XLII. As I recall, that was a pretty low scoring game.

For me to win my bets, the Giants will have to do it again. Go Giants.

Ad Nauseam

nospam@example.com (Tim Forkes) — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 09:01:00 -0700

It’s been a while, five days to be exact. Been busy with a special occasion for a super secret service organization. Totally out of character, I volunteered to co-host the event. Easily the best decision I made was to find the right people to help and handle specific projects, like preparing the food. Everything went well, so well the event was as boring as it should have been.

Did you see the video of the Australian woman who went bungy jumping and her bungy chord broke? She survived.

Then there’s football. Yes, the Green Bay Packers had the weekend off. The New York Giants beat the Atlanta Falcons on Sunday, winning the opportunity to face the Packers in Lambeau Field. It’s the playoffs so the Giants could win. Sunday’s game was really no contest. The Falcons could only manage to score two points — a safety.

The New Orleans Saints, winners of Super Bowl XLIV (that’s 44 in American) beat the Detroit Lions and travel to San Francisco to meet the 49er’s. That’s going to be a good game, unlike the Giants-Falcons game. Of course, if you’re a Giants fan it was a great game.

Also on Saturday the Houston Texans beat the Cincinnati Bengals, very convincingly. The Houston Texans, newest team in the league, are pretty much in control of their destiny. It wouldn’t be a surprise if the made it into the title game. They have to get passed the Baltimore Ravens, but if you’re a bettin’ kind of person, I’d bet they beat Baltimore.

Remarkably, Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos are really beating the Pittsburgh Steelers — at least in the first half. In the second half the Steelers made such a comeback they tied the game, sending it to over time. On the first play of over time Tim Tebow threw a game-winning 80-yard touchdown pass to DeMaryius Thomas that had the Denver fans screaming and left the Steelers shocked. Stunned.

In about ten seconds the Denver Broncos, led by Tim Tebow, sent the Steelers home to Pittsburgh, Penn. Tim Tebow, easily the most controversial quarterback in pro football this season. Remember when Tony Romo was the talk of blogs and message boards because he was banging famous singers and actresses? Who wouldn’t want to be between the legs of Jessica Simpson?

And let’s not forget Matt Leinart. He was a USC QB who won two national championships and the Heisman Trophy. Besides not playing up to the potential his former team, the Arizona Cardinals, expected, he was a party animal and was caught, on film, sharing a hot tub with two — no, four — young beauties. For some reason that was “bad.” Same with Tom Brady and his bachelor ways.

That didn’t seem like a problem in these quarters, hell, were I a young, good-looking, single, football player, I’d be doing them two at a time as well. The problem with Leinart was that “they” didn’t think he was serious enough about winning. With Brady it wasn’t much of a problem because the New England Patriots were winning Super Bowls.

It’s hard to imagine Leinart wasn’t serious about winning, considering his history with USC. This is one of the things about America that makes me shake my head in wonderment. Ball players — and politicians — aren’t allowed to enjoy life while they are working. You practice till you drop, study your playbook and then go to a party and jump in a hot tub with two young coeds. No problem.

We see it in politics as well. When the president was going on vacation with his family in August his critics, most of whom were on vacation with their families, berated him for leaving town while Congress was arguing about the debt ceiling. Then there was the Newt Gingrich controversy. He was criticized for having a half million-dollar line of credit at Tiffany’s. If he and his current wife can afford it, who cares? It was a nonsensical criticism.

Going on a Med cruise a week after declaring his candidacy for president seemed foolish though and left people wondering if he was truly serious about running for president. His staff apparently didn’t think so because they all quit.

Back to controversial NFL quarterbacks. With Leinart, Brady, Ben Rothlisberger and others, the controversy was over their licentious lifestyles. With Tim Tebow, the controversy flips to the other end of the spectrum. Now the talk is about Tebow and his religious fervor. The questions I ask are: Why bash Tim Tebow and why now?

Long before Tebow put on professional tights, NFL players have been kneeling and praying before, during and after football games. If you have a team in your locality you see the news about their off field exploits with various churches and religious groups as well. It’s nauseating.

With Tim Tebow it’s a problem and why is a mystery to me. I don’t agree with his religious beliefs, not in the least, but it isn’t new in the National Football League. I’ve been nauseated many times seeing players getting into their prayer circles after games. If other players are able to nauseate the rest of us with their religious beliefs, than Tim Tebow ought to be able to do so as well. My ad nauseam is equal opportunity.

Regardless of his religious bent, Tim Tebow, unlike Matt Leinart, has been busy proving his critics wrong all season. Granted, his team’s season record is no better than two other teams in the same division (Oakland Raiders and San Diego Chargers) and is only .500, but his team is in the playoffs for yet another round, beating a Pittsburgh team everyone paid to comment on it said would put the Broncos out of the playoffs.

It’s nice to see the sports pundits proven wrong, especially by a guy so many people said wasn’t ready for the NFL. But how much farther will the Broncos go? Their next game is in Foxboro, MA against the New England Patriots. More than likely the Tebow trains stops there. They could win, but it’s highly unlikely.

Tim Tebow has proven he belongs in the NFL and, by most accounts, he’s proven to be a starting quarterback. He has the ambition, will and dedication to win. That, as much as anything else his team has done, has put the Broncos in the divisional round of the playoffs. So I congratulate Tebow and the Denver Broncos. They defied the skeptics and haters and won. May they go far enough to get beaten by the Green Bay Packers in the Super Bowl.

And if Tebow and his teammates wish to get in one of those prayer circles after the game, go ahead. I’ll be switching over to the HBO before then anyway. But what would really make this season memorable for Tim Tebow and the Broncos: having his picture taken in a hot tub with two young, nude hotties. Now that would spice up the playoffs!

Tebowtized

nospam@example.com (Tim Forkes) — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 00:01:00 -0700

Best news of the weekend: The Green Bay Packers remain unbeaten! Second best news: the San Diego Chargers won again. Jeez, not only did the Packers win the game, but they clinched the NFC North Division title and home field advantage throughout the playoffs, which means they get a bye in the first round of the playoffs, a big contrast to last year when they played on the road in every game.

Of course, the family in the Denver, CO area has been “Tebowtized.” What a bunch of wisenheimers too. I’m so burned up about this! Not the Tim Tebow thing, no, this goes back over a decade! Fourteen damn years, to be approximately accurate.

This is what happened. My Dear, Beloved, Sister and Brother ended up living in the Denver area for many years. So, they lived through the years when the John Elway-led Denver Broncos went to four Super Bowls only to lose them. For some reason — I don’t understand it — Sister and Brother became Broncos fans!

If you’re having the same reaction I’m having, it’s, “What the Hell’s wrong with those people? Didn’t they grow up in Packerland?”

That’s what I’m saying. They move to Denver — nice place, love the mountains — settle in and raise families and begin to become pillars of the Rocky Mountain community. Of course, they couldn’t watch Packers games every Sunday, they had to make do with what the local networks would give them, which meant the Broncos.

That’s understandable. Out here in Sandy Eggo we get the Chargers every week — if they sell out the “Q” for their home games — and then whatever other games the local networks deign to give us.

Man, if I see another infomercial with pitchman Montel Williams selling some therapy or product I’m going Postal on the local networks — in an electronic, e-mail sort of way. Okay, not really. There’s nothing I can do about the Montel Williams infomercials, or the reruns of dipshit sitcoms they run instead of football.
 Just so you know, in case you don’t, the “Q” is QualComm Stadium, named for the electronics firm that paid millions for naming rights over a decade ago. Before that it was Dick Murphy Stadium, named for the sports commentator who pushed to get a professional football team and the stadium for them to play in, the one the Chargers play in now.
 We used to call the stadium the “Murph.” In fact, we still do.
 If your local networks give you infomercials, Montel or otherwise, or reruns of dipshit sitcoms when they could be giving you professional football games, then you don’t live in a true sports town. San Diego is not a true sports town, which is the main reason the Chargers will move to Los Angeles within a few years.

Back to the Colorado Clan. They’ve been watching the Denver Broncos for decades now and it would be a surprise if they had no affection for the local team. To be honest, I root for the Chargers, if they’re not playing the Packers. Former Chargers quarterback Stan Humphries sold me on the Chargers. He’s my choice for greatest Charger of all time.

Now, fast forward to 1996. The Denver Broncos had been to the Super Bowl four times and lost. The Packers had been to the first two Super Bowls and won them both. But, that was then and this was … err, then, but three decades later. The Packers win the NFC Championship, taking home the George Halas Trophy and headed to New Orleans to face Drew Bledsoe and the New England Patriots.

On January 26, 1997, the Packers beat the Patriots for their 3rd Super Bowl championship and 12th world championship over all.

The next season starts and the Green Bay Packers are the clear favorites. In fact, everyone who is anyone in the sports betting world picks the Packers to win it all. Shoot! I even laid a few bets at Caliente in Tijuana and at a couple casinos in Vegas. It was the smart bet and the Packers would be winning that fourth Super Bowl in Sandy Eggo — at the Murph!

Well, the Packers did indeed win everything up to Super Bowl XXXII and all the prognosticators who set the odds and the point spread assured everyone this would be John Elway’s and the Broncos’ fifth loss in a Super Bowl. Man! Talk about persistence — or masochism.

So, Super Bowl XXXII rolls around and my Dear Brother Carl and I head over to the hotel in La Jolla where the Packers were staying. We waited in the lobby to watch the team walk in on the Saturday before the game. What struck me as the players sauntered in was their lackadaisical attitude, even though they would be playing in the biggest game of the season in about 24 hours. The only Packer not smiling was head coach Mike Holmgren and he looked more than serious, he looked worried.

No matter. Everyone told me the Broncos would be losing their fifth Super Bowl and Hell, I placed those bets and was expecting a spectacular payday come 9 p.m. Sunday evening (local time), give or take a few minutes.

Well, them … fuckin (there I said it! I dropped an F-Bomb!) Broncos won! How could the Packers lose? God, the pain! And the worst of it was, my effin wisenheimer brother Tony placed a bet with me, betting the Broncos would win!

And ever since, that turncoat Broncos fan and that entire Denver Clan have never let me forget, them [expletive deleted] Broncos beat the Packers in the one Super Bowl in which both teams appeared. Never mind that the Packers have won four and the Broncos only two; or that the Packers’ Super Bowl winning percentage is 80% compared to the Broncos’ Super Bowl winning percentage of 33%, there’s always that little detail, that technicality — that fact — the only time the Packers and Broncos met in a Super Bowl the Denver effin’ Broncos won.

I’m actually cursing right now, but that’s beside the point. Maybe not. Some people may be thinking, “Man! Let it go!” or, “Tim, lighten up!”

Trust me, I’m pretty effin’ calm compared to years past, believe you me! But now, the Broncos — and that Colorado Clan — have been Tebowtized and there’s a chance the Packers could be facing the Broncos in Super Bowl XLVI come February 5, 2012.

Tim Tebow, despite everyone saying he couldn’t do it, is a starting quarterback who is leading his team, them Denver Broncos, to one victory after another. They could very well win the AFC Western Division. Tebow, it appears, is a “comeback” quarterback, leading his team to last second victories over much more accomplished opponents.

Next week is the real test for the Broncos. The New England Patriots, who are 10-3 so far this season, head into Mile High … err, some corporate named stadium: Sports Authority Field at Mile High Stadium — you gotta be shittin’ me! Okay, that’s a whole different complaint. Let’s not get off on another tangent cause this one has already claimed this blog.

But, if the Denver Broncos beat the visiting New England Patriots, I will place a bet that the Denver Broncos will win the AFC Championship and once again hoist the Lamar Hunt Trophy over their heads.

If, of course, they get past the Patriots in the playoffs, and those guys from Houston, the Texans. Yeah! The newest team in the league has won their first division title, the AFC South Division, and are competing with the Patriots and the Baltimore Ravens for that coveted first round bye and home field advantage.

On top of that, our family has a Texas Clan just 40 miles west of Houston and they no doubt think their upstart Texans will be hoisting that Lamar Hunt trophy — in Houston no less — because Texans are just like that: they think they’re bigger and better than everyone else.
 Speaking of which: did you see the looks on the faces of the people in Jerry Jones’s box Sunday Night when the Cowboys lost to the New York Giants on a blocked chip shot field goal? Priceless!

But I say this to both the Colorado Clan and the Texas Clan; it ends when they meet the Packers in Super Bowl XLVI. I’m betting on it — again. The Packers better not lose this time.

The Pack Is Back!

nospam@example.com (Tim Forkes) — Mon, 05 Dec 2011 17:01:00 -0700

What a great weekend! The Wisconsin Badgers beat the Michigan State Spartans to win the inaugural Big 10 Championship and a place in the 2012 Rose Bowl, to face the Ducks of Oregon. That was Saturday. On Sunday, the Green Bay Packers beat the New York Giants, cementing their place in the playoffs and keeping their winning streak alive: they are 12-0 for the season and 18 straight wins overall.

This is funny. Last year I didn’t expect the Packers to make it to the Super Bowl, let alone win it. They didn’t even win their division title last year; that went to the Chicago Bears. The Packers earned a Wild Card berth in the playoffs with a 10-6 record. Damn Bears were 11-5 … but time to get over it, the Packers already have a better record.

So, the first team the Packers faced in the 2010 playoffs was the Philadelphia Eagles. That was going to be a tough game, but the Pack had beaten the Eagles in the first game of the season so it seemed reasonable the Pack could march onto Lincoln Financial Field in Philadelphia and beat the Michael Vick-led Eagles. But you never know with Michael Vick, he’s a great player.
 I have friends, nice, great friends, who will never forgive Vick for the dog fighting. So many animals brutalized, it’s beyond sickening. But, for me, he did his time, lost nearly everything in the process so give him another chance in the NFL.
 Do I want him for a friend? No, but maybe, at some point, there will be an inspirational story of redemption, although after his considerable whining this season, that doesn’t seem forthcoming any time soon.

So, beating the Eagles, on the road, wasn’t the biggest leap of the playoffs. No, every game the Packers would play was on the road, in someone else’s house. Ever watch the pre-game hype shows? There’s always a clip or two of different teams doing their pre-game emotional warm-up and the leader is telling his teammates, “This is OUR house! This is OUR house!”

Every player on every team takes that seriously and to go into someone else’s house and take it away from them for just one day — ONE GAME — especially in the playoffs, well that takes some equally serious chutzpah … and skill and determination. Doesn’t really look good to talk shit if you can’t back it up.

Broadway Joe Namath famously declared his New York Jets would beat Johnny Unitas and the Baltimore Colts to win Super Bowl III — and then they did it! No shit!

Forget all Joe’s records and spindly knees, what he’s most famous for is his chutzpah and then leading his team to victory. I forget how much of an underdog the Jets were: was it two touchdowns or three? Don’t even remember the odds, but if you bet the Jets to win, you won big.

Broadway Joe Namath is definitely Hall of Fame worthy, just on pure confidence alone! He has a losing record as a professional ball player, but still; the Packers won Super Bowls I and II, but Joe Namath and his Jets made the game the biggest single day sporting event in the world.

Sorry about the tangents (not really) but this thought just crossed my mind after watching “highlights” of the 2011 San Diego Chargers who will play the Jacksonville Jaguars tonight on Monday Night Football. Man! I live in San Diego! I feel sorry for my friends who are Chargers fans! Truly, they deserve better than this, but on the other hand, they don’t have to bear the burden of being Colts fans this season.

This is the burning thought: the NFL won’t have another Super Bowl in San Diego until the city/county/state builds another stadium for the San Diego Chargers. The Murph is too old for those bastards and doesn’t have all the luxury amenities the NFL demands these days, so NFL management has decided, “No new stadium, no Super Bowls for you!”

So we get Super Bowls played in Snow Belt locations like Detroit, New Jersey, and this next one in Indianapolis. You gotta love the irony though. The Colts are, so far, winless this season and are now eliminated from the playoffs. We get Super Bowls in places no one goes to on vacation in February, but not in one of the best vacation locations in the Lower 48. NFL management is full of shit.

Not only that, we’ll never see a Super Bowl played at Lambeau Field in Green Bay. It has nothing to do with the weather and the fact that Lambeau is not enclosed. No, not at all. It has to do with the ownership. Every other owner, plus league management, hates the Green Bay Packers for one simple reason: the citizens of Green Bay, WI and the surrounding environs own the team. There isn’t this one guy sitting in the owner’s box lording over all his (or her) domain.

So, you don’t have this bullshit of team management threatening to leave if they don’t get a new stadium. Hell, if team management — the citizens — want to improve Green Bay, they just have another stock offering and sell more shares in the Packers!

I forget all the rules regarding Packers shares, but “they” ensured that no one could wrest control away from the citizens and put all control into one or two people. Green Bay will never have a Jerry Jones or Al Davis — rest in peace Al — because the current owners won’t allow it.

When the Packers became the only publicly owned team, the NFL instituted a new rule forbidding other teams from becoming publicly owned teams and the other professional sports leagues followed suit.

Then, whenever a team starts whining and demanding to get a new stadium, claiming the team can’t go on unless they get a new stadium; the league needs new stadiums, some wisenheimer in the news media says, “But what about Lambeau Field?”

Or Soldier Field in Chicago for that matter. Now, Da Bears have private ownership, the Halas Family, but unlike most other league owners, the Halases are Homers. That is, they not only live and breathe the Bears, but the Big City that is their home as well. They understand traditions and for every Bears fan, Soldier Field is sacred ground. As Lambeau is for every Packer fan. So, management for both the Packers and the Bears understand how important their respective stadiums are to their fans — their friends and neighbors.
 Current owner Virginia McCaskey, for those who don’t know, is the daughter of legendary Chicago Bears owner George Halas.

Back to the Packers. They beat the Eagles in Philadelphia, in a close game. I thought Andy Reid was actually going to cry. Maybe he did off camera. Then the Packers had to travel to Atlanta to play the Falcons, turning that game into a blow out. But then the Packers had to travel to Soldier Field to play them GODDAM BEARS in the National Football Conference Championship.

That’s it, no way the Packers, Wild Card team, is going to beat the division champions in the conference championship game at Soldier fucking Field! Home of Da Bears.

But then the Wild Card Packers beat the Division Champion Bears in Soldier fucking Field to earn the title of National Football Conference Champions, hoisting the Halas Trophy — in Soldier Field — over their heads. That had to be the bitterest of pills for the Bears, the Halases and all of Chicagoland.
 We Packer fans were (and are) loving the Schadenfruede of it!

Then it was on to Dallas — ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!?? DALLAS??!!?? — for Super Bowl XLV. That’s Super Bowl 45 for the numerically challenged. But another Super Bowl played in a place covered with snow!

So, the Packers had already exceeded all expectations and were facing a Steelers team that was being compared to the Terry Bradshaw era Steelers that won four Super Bowls in six years. Nah, no way the Packers can win this one! Or could they? Hell, they beat Da Bears in Soldier Field, so why not win it all?

And they did win it all, beating the Pittsburgh Steelers by a score of 31-25. Now the Packers’ winning streak stands at 18, with four more games left in the regular season. If they have to play in all the playoff rounds, four more games. If they have the best record in the NFC, which is looking better each week, they’ll get a bye in the first round of the playoffs.

No team has had an unbeaten season since the Miami Dolphins did it in 1972 when they won it all. But, that was in the era when there were only 14 games in the regular season. Still, a great accomplishment, going 17-0 overall and winning it all.

The New England Patriots made a stab at it in 2007, only to lose in Super Bowl XLII to the New York Giants. Isn’t that a bit of irony: the Giants killed the Patriots’ bid for an unbeaten season and the Packers beat the Giants to maintain their pursuit of a perfect season.

Watching Giants quarterback Eli Manning’s face as Aaron Rodgers and the Packers, with 58 seconds left in the game, moved the ball far enough down field so their placekicker, Mason Crosby, could boot in the winning field goal, running out the game clock in the process — priceless.

You think about it, briefly, and figure if they played just about any other team in the NFL and scored 35 points, the New York Giants would win the game! But, to their dismay, the found themselves playing against the best team in the NFL with the league’s best candidate for MVP, the quarterback Aaron Rodgers, and well, the Giants have now lost four in a row.

It’s getting close to game time for the Chargers at the Jaguars and this tome has gone from epic to … umm … excessive. We’ll be watching the Packers every week now, as long as they remain unbeaten. Oh yeah, the Wisconsin Badgers will be in the Rose Bowl January 2nd. We’ll be watching that one too.

Remember the good old days when all the major college bowl games were played on New Years Day? Damn BCS, screwed it up but good and they can’t even get a decent national championship game! Don’t even get me started!

From Green Bay to San Diego Bay

nospam@example.com (Tim Forkes) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:01:00 -0700

The Green Bay Packers are 10-0! Believe it!

Okay, Sunday’s game wasn’t a Hall of Fame performance, but it was a win. Championship teams win games when winning looks, at best, iffy. Well, Aaron Rodgers had another Hall of Fame performance. But let’s be honest, as great as Rodgers is, he needs receivers to match his talent and Aaron Rodgers has a stellar receiving corps.

Jordy Nelson is coming up big in that list of receivers, judging from this season and last, but Rodgers still has Gregg Jennings and the great Donald Driver. Not to mention, all those tight ends and running backs.

A win is a win, no matter how ugly and the ugly ones count just as much as the sweet ones. Hell, I’m one of the ugly ones, but some people think I’m pretty sweet too! I hope.

As is often the case in the National Football League, it is often one of the least likely opponents that topples an undefeated favorite and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers came pretty damn close to doing that Sunday. The Bucs are only 4-6 this season, not the worst in the league, but definitely not one of the elite teams. Not this season anyway, but next year they could be true contenders.

This Thursday, on a short week, the Pack plays division rivals — their most dangerous division rivals — the Detroit Lions in Detroit. Well, not actually in Detroit, but a suburb. The Lions started the season on an undefeated tear, but took a couple on the chin. Still, they are for real and the Packers need to play better Thursday than they did Sunday, otherwise the undefeated season ends.

The other team the Packers need to play at the top of their game is the San Francisco 49er’s. From the start of the season I thought the 49er’s were the best team, next to the Packers.

There are six more games this season, ergo, six opportunities for some enterprising and well-prepared team to end the undefeated season and that’s not even counting the playoffs.

But, I didn’t watch the Packer game Sunday. Didn’t even watch the Chargers game. Hell, that was an awesome game — if you’re a Bears fan! Of all the teams the Chargers need to beat, from a Packer fan’s point of view, the Bears are at the top of that list. But they didn’t, losing by 11 points to Da Bears. What the Hell has happened to the Chargers this season?

Fuck … glad I wasn’t in front of a TV for that one. No, my buddy, Captain John Smith, Terror of the High Seas invited me to go sailing with him around San Diego Bay, mainly to watch the America’s Cup World Series. Okay, first off, what I know about the America’s Cup … err … races … you could put in one of Barbie’s teacups.
 Does Mattel make teacups for Barbies? I know even less about Barbie dolls than I do about the America’s Cup.
 Just checking their Barbie website. A Barbie has to have all the right accessories.
 Okay, just got distracted by Mattel’s Hotwheels. That was my last great toy as a child. Just a holiday programming note: I like Hotwheels!

So, there we were, Captain John and I, sailing up, down and around San Diego Bay, getting up to nearly six knots per hour! Apparently that’s pretty good time for a 33-foot Beneteau with only the main sail unfurled. We didn’t put out the jib, that’s the one sail in front that’s like the jet burner in the Batmobile. Captain John thought we could possibly get another two to three knots if we let the jib fly!

No jibs were flying for us Sunday as we wangled our way around San Diego Bay. In fact, as I recall, there was only one spectator boat sailing with the jib and they were flying over the water. We wanted the best spot to watch the competitors racing up, down and across the course. Some New Zealanders bumped our boat with theirs as they pulled along side to tell us where the boundaries were for spectators. They were a jovial pair of chaps.

The New Zealand team won the last America’s Cup so they provided many of the race “officials” and safety patrols, but the Harbor Police, Coast Guard and Navy had their patrol craft cruising in and out of the constantly moving Clusterfuck of boats. Twice the Navy Patrol chased us out of their secure areas.

And because the New Zealanders won the previous America’s Cup World Series, they got to choose the type of boat used in this current AC World Series. Which is why everyone is racing catamarans.

To be honest, I have no clue who won the event. We were just watching, hoping to see one of those catamarans tip over during some wicked heel.

“What’s a heel,” you ask? That’s when the boat is tilted to one side, sometimes to the verge of tipping over. We did it often in that Beneteau. There are these little windows in the cabin and during a few of the more extreme heels, those windows were nearly under water.

So, back to the America’s Cup. There are nine teams and ten boats in the race. Yep, Americans are a different breed and billionaire software tycoon Larry Ellison, founder of Oracle Software, has two boats in the series. But that’s okay, they’re representing the United States.

Both of the Oracle boats did well Sunday, the Coutts boat, named for skipper Russell Coutts, won the speed trials and the other, Spithill, named for skipper James Spithill, won the fleet race.

Ellison was at the races Sunday. His big honkin’ yacht was parked right in the middle of the Bay. So we cruised by twice to take a look at it. Once the racing was over, we could sail up and down the Bay at our leisure, but that was after 3 p.m., so we didn’t have much leisure time left. It was nice and peaceful though, only the sound of the water hitting the hull of the Beneteau.

We cruised past Seaport Village and my favorite restaurant, the Pier, the Navy Pier and the U.S.S. Midway Museum, the harbor with Anthony’s Fish Grotto, all the way back up to Harbor Island where the boat we were sailing is berthed. In all, it was about five hours of sailing, one of the nicer Sundays I’ve had in a while. Thank you Captain John! Let’s do it again! .

It’s On!

nospam@example.com (Tim Forkes) — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 12:01:00 -0600

To Hell with politics. To Hell with President Obama, Governor Rick Perry, Mit Romney, Newt Gingrich, Governor Chris Christie — especially Chris Christie — Ron Paul, Jon Huntsman, Herman Cain and Michele Bachmann. Sure, that’s important and all, but it don’t mean a thing ’cause I need some swing: Milwaukee Brewers baseball swing.

That’s right, the Milwaukee Brewers are in the National League Championship Series for the first, the second time they’ve been to a league championship series, the first one being against the California Angels in 1982, which they won, going on to the 1982 World Series — against them fuckin’ St. Louis Cardinals.

Damn Cardinals. No love lost between these two teams. No love lost between these two baseball cities. Hell no! The ’82 Series was named the “Suds Series” because St. Louis is the home of Budweiser and Anheuser-Busch and Milwaukee is the home of good beer: Miller, Pabst Blue Ribbon and, back in the day, Schlitz.

All those cocky Budweiser drinkers, thinking they got it going on. Puh-leeze! Milwaukee didn’t become the Beer Capital of the World for nothing!

And now you got these perennial playoff Cardinals starting the game in Milwaukee. Yeah sure, they score in the top of the first, but that don’t mean a thing. There’s still eight and a half innings to go and pitcher Zack Greinke is just getting warmed up.

This will be a good game, as long as the Brewers walk away with the W. Bottom of the first and Ryan Braun has just hit a two-run homer, taking the lead. Cards pitcher Jaime Garcia is rattled; he hit Prince Fielder, sending him to First Base and then walked Ricky Weeks in four straight pitches. And there’s only one out.

It’s time to stop this typing and put my full attention to the game. This is a fight, a brawl; this is the Brew Crew against them goddamn Cards. Most people might think that Milwaukee’s major rivalry would be with the Chicago Cubs because the Chicago White Sox were the Brewers most hated rivals when the Brew Crew was part of the American League. But that’s not the case. Milwaukee has a score to settle with St. Louis, one that’s needed to be addressed for 29 years.

Gotta say this though: it’s kind of weird to have two teams from the same division playing for the league championship, but such is life in the Wild Card era.

So, this blog is short, far too short for the average reader. Probably just right for the rest of you. But I have priorities and that means watching the Brewers take care of Game One of the National League Championship Series.

There won’t be an ACLS today between the Detroit Tigers and Texas Rangers. Rain put that game on hold until tomorrow, so this is it—until the Packers take on the Atlanta Falcons at 5:30 (PST). Ah yes, the Green Bay Packers, Super Bowl XLV Champs, unbeaten so far this season. They take their aerial show into the Georgia Dome.

If anyone is thinking of calling, I’m gonna be busy all day.

He Comes From the Land Down Under

nospam@example.com (Tim Forkes) — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 13:33:00 -0600

No surprise here: a Frenchman didn’t win the Tour de France. Nope. That honor belongs to Australian Cadel Evans. Good for him. He’s been trying long enough! No one really expected Frenchman Thomas Voelcker to win; he just doesn’t have the mountain climbing skills. But, for over a week Voelcker had the yellow jersey and that was a boost for the French. Heck, no one expected the Frenchman to keep the jersey for more than one stage!

It’s like having foreigners win the U.S. Open in golf and tennis. I vividly remember when Bjorn Borg and Martina Navratilova ruled the tennis world. Of course, Navratilova ruled women’s tennis a lot longer than Borg ruled the men’s. Other players rarely had a chance against them. Borg had some epic battles against John McEnroe, but Navratilova just dominated.

Navratilova eventually became a U.S. citizen, but still, she was a foreigner. Having written that, I’ll gladly stand next to her and sing the National Anthem! Happy to have you here Martina!
 Just a short tangent to this tangent: the greatest woman tennis player of all time is German-American Steffi Graf. She won the Calendar Year Golden Grand Slam (the only player to do so) in 1988, winning all four Grand Slam titles and the Gold Medal at the Olympics.
 If she hadn’t had so many injuries, no telling how much she would have eclipsed Navratilova.

But this is primarily about professional bicycle racing and the first Australian and the first person from the Southern Hemisphere to win the Tour de France, Cadel Evans.

Of all the professional sports in the world, bicycling has got to be the most grueling. An event like the Tour de France, a “Grand Tour,” will last three weeks, and the smaller events three days to a week to two weeks. They ride in most weather and when they compete hurt, you can see it. Many times you’ll see riders getting stitches in their various body parts as they are riding.

Can’t remember who it was a few years ago, but one rider finished the tour with a broken collarbone. Just checked; it was American George Hincapie in 2009. He rode the final four stages, including a time trial, with a broken clavicle. Dang! That takes some discipline!

Broken clavicles are common in bicycle racing. What happens is, the riders are traveling along at 30 miles per hour or faster, especially if they’re going downhill, and then they take a fall. They land on a shoulder and BAM! A broken collarbone.

British rider Bradley Wiggins started the Tour as one of the favorites, but crashed in the ill-fated Stage 7 pile-up, eventually leaving the race with a broken collarbone. Man! As close as they ride in the peloton, it’s a wonder there aren’t more pile-ups.

I’ve hit the pavement and dirt on trails; it hurts.

About five years ago I was having some fun going up and down the short trails around Lake Miramar. Coming down a rather steep trail with a sharp turn to the right I tried to navigate it, but the front tire caught a rock on the trail and sent the Trusty Trek, with me on it. into the dirt, sliding down what is essentially a short cliff. Not so short that I didn’t sustain any injuries. Quite the contrary. It took off huge chunks of skin and some of the scars on my left leg are still visible.

Out there alone and miles from the parking lot and my truck, I just put the chain back on, wrapped up my leg and arm in gauze and pedaled back to the truck.

In December of 2009 I was knocked off the Trusty Trek after hitting a curb while avoiding a guy who was texting while driving his SUV. Besides breaking my left wrist, chunks of skin were scraped off my right arm and the scars from that are still visible.

Riding a bicycle can be painful, especially for the professionals who do it at the speeds they routinely pedal.

Then there is the mental and emotional toll of competing against the elements, driving yourself past the point of surrender, pedaling close to 100 miles nearly every day — often well over 100 miles. That burn in your thighs as you climb that 15% grade, and maybe the ascent is ten miles long. As a leader you’re conscious of your standing, and even if you weren’t, your team manager is reminding you through a radio headset in the helmet.

Winning a stage in the Tour de France is a big deal and for some riders the highlight of their pro careers. But to win the Tour, the General Classification, that’s the big deal.

It isn’t just stamina; it’s a willingness to do whatever it takes, ignore all the pain; and the discipline to stick to the game plan mile after mile, day after day, when every fiber of your body and mind is saying “Enough’s enough!”

They keep doing it, keep pedaling, keep pushing, keep pacing themselves, and in Cadel Evans’ case, going faster than his body said was possible to win the final time trial, pushing past the guys ahead of him until he’s in the lead; they keep going until they reach the Champs Élysées in Paris.

Too bad for the French Thomas Voelcker couldn’t sustain his hold on the yellow, but he did his country proud by holding it as long as he did, even though he was just about the only person who thought he could lead the Tour at all. He finished 4th overall, behind Evans and the Schleck Brothers of Luxembourg, Andy and Frank respectively.

A Frenchman, Pierre Rolland, took the White jersey as the best new rider. He’s a great climber and that’s always a good trait for winning the tour. He just missed the top ten, finishing 11th overall.

Last year’s champion, Alberto Contador, finished 5th overall. Who knows what his status will be in two weeks time. He’s riding on borrowed time, having appealed the ruling in a doping case. It’s in arbitration and the sport’s governing body will convene August 1st to decide his fate.

Just a week after winning last year’s Tour de France, it was announced that Contador had tested positive for a banned substance. Contador has been fighting that charge ever since, claiming it was the result of eating tainted beef. If the arbitration in August goes against him, he will lose his 2010 title and everything he’s accomplished this year, including his win in the Giro d’Italia last month.

This year though, on the podium under the Arc de Triomphe, stood the Australian and two brothers from Luxembourg, firsts in the Tour de France. The tour started on a stage that is flooded every day at high tide and finished with the ultimate winner taking the yellow jersey in the last stage before the finale, an individual time trial, providing the last dramatic moment in a tour that saw many over the 21 stages.

Most Americans really don’t give a hoot about the Tour de France or bicycle racing in general. Lance Armstrong isn’t in it, so that connection is lost. Of the other Americans, only one placed high enough to take notice; Tom Danielson came in 9th overall. But, his team, Garmin-Cervélo, came out on top.
 Team Garmin includes Thor Hushovd! It’s a great team!

Next year, maybe Danielson will be on the podium! That’s the thing about the Tour de France. Every Tour gives us something to look forward to in the next year. There are a few riders to watch next year, like the Schleck Brothers, Voeckler and Hushovd. I’ll be watching!

Speaking of giving a Hoot, my friend Claudia, who now works at the Downtown LA Hooters across from the Staples Center, is vying for the 2012 Hooters calendar. Just click her photo (below) and leave a message: “Put Claudia from DTLA in a BIG picture!”

Happy Trails!

Can a Frenchman Win?

nospam@example.com (Tim Forkes) — Sun, 17 Jul 2011 08:01:00 -0600

The Tour de France is taking place again. So few people in the U.S. watch professional road bicycling, that doesn’t mean much. But, it was while watching Lance Armstrong in the midst of his reign as king of the tour that I purchased my Trusty Trek.

So many years ago. Actually, May of 2003. My friend Alan and I had been watching the Tour every year and would talk about Lance Armstrong and his fiercest competitors primarily. There was that year when Armstrong had to avoid a major crash by riding over a bit of a field of grass. It amazed everyone considering how rough the terrain. Can’t remember which commentator said it, but they credited Armstrong’s years of mountain biking for his successful traverse of that ground.

Then there was the year — might have been the same year, I can’t remember — when a spectator’s bag caught Armstrong’s handle bars and flipped him off his bike. I know how that feels, hitting the pavement. Here’s the weird part and illustrated the etiquette of the pro bike community. Armstrong’s closest competitor that year was 1997 Tour winner Jan Ullrich.

When Armstrong went down, he and Ullrich were locked in a battle going up a mountain, Ullrich challenging Armstrong’s hold on the yellow jersey of the general classification. Just a few seconds separated the two and all the German had to do was over take Armstrong on this one stage and he would probably win the tour that year. And to be honest, as great a climber as Ullrich is, there were a lot of people who thought he might do it.

So, as riders climb these mountain roads, which at times are so narrow they look like paved goat herding paths, the fans can get right up on the riders as they pass. There are no guardrails, no temporary barriers, nothing to separate the riders from the fans. Race officials just hope the fans have the courtesy and common sense to stay out of the way.

It’s crazy! Watch a mountain stage sometime and you’ll see a sea of people in front of a rider as he pedals up the road, that sea parting as if Moses is riding by, the flag of the rider’s country being waved, sometimes just inches from his helmet. Ya think, “Why the Hell don’t the race officials and French government do something about that?!?” But, that it is one of the quaint features of the Tour de France. Anyway …

Ullrich is pedaling with all his strength to overtake Armstrong, and the American is pedaling even harder to keep that from happening. And then — BAM! Armstrong is on the pavement.

Now, Ullrich doesn’t even have to keep the pace he was pedaling to win. That fall easily put the German in the lead of the tour; Ullrich had the yellow jersey wrapped up. All he had to do was keep a reasonable pace to the finish of that stage and viola! Tour de France win number two!

What does Ullrich do? He slows to almost a crawl, makes every other rider in that group do the same and waits for Armstrong to get back on his bike and catch up so they can continue the race from roughly the same positions.

What? Jan, are you nuts? No, he isn’t nuts. That’s the etiquette of the Tour de France. You don’t take advantage of a rider’s misfortune unless the rider is knocked out of the race.

Ullrich and Armstrong picked up their battle where it was left off and Armstrong won the day and eventually the Tour. Now that is sportsmanship. Cynics will say there is a lot more to it than that, but, really, Ullrich could have easily won that day.

The tour isn’t won or lost on just one stage. That year Ullrich started the Tour sick and lost time against Armstrong, not to mention he struggled in a time trial, but that moment will live in cycling folklore forever.
 And I just Googled. Both Armstrong’s fall and his race across the field to avoid a crash happened in the 2003 Tour de France.

So, here we are at the 2011 Tour. A few of the same names, like Alberto Contador, the Schleck Brothers, Americans Levi Leipheimer and George Hincapie (his 16th appearance?), Caddell Evans, Thomas Voelcker, and a few more.

Just watched Stage 13 that started in the Pyrenées city of Pau and just watching those guys pedal up the Col d’Aubisque … makes my Scripps Ranch Blvd ascent look positively darling.

The stage finished in the village of Lourdes, world famous for its Catholic shrine to the little girl Bernadette who saw the Mother Mary behind a rose bush in a grotto. Now, there are dozens of Catholic churches and chapels, a spring that was discovered by Bernadette and all manner of religion-related tourist attractions and accommodations.

Norwegian Thor Hushovd won the stage after falling behind Frenchmen David Moncoutié and the leader, Jeremy Roy. In the final kilometers Hushovd roared past both in a display of power that surprised everyone, including himself to win his first ever mountain stage.

At the moment a Frenchman leads the tour, with only seven stages left. Thomas Voeckler could be the first Frenchman to win the Tour de France since … man! How embarrassing for the French! The last time a Frenchman won the Tour was in 1985 — Bernard “The Badger” Hinault.

Twenty-six years! Can’t remember ever seeing a Frenchman win a stage on Bastille Day either. It must have happened in recent years, but there’s so much competition, it’s hard to win a stage, let alone the Tour itself. Well, in recent years, two people have dominated the Tour de France: first Lance Armstrong who won it a record seven straight years, and then Alberto Contador, the arrogant, selfish Spaniard who won the tour three of the last four years.

Before Armstrong and Contador, Spaniard Miguel Indurain won the Tour five straight years, from 1991-1995. Dominating the sport might appear easy, but it isn’t. A Team Leader, like Armstrong and Contador, needs the right team supporting him to win. The riders have specific roles to play in each team and all the roles are designed to put the team leader in the yellow jersey when the Tour ends in Paris.

The guy who gets that honor may not be the best mountain climber or sprinter on the team, but he’s the guy who can consistently hold his own in those mountains and time trials. I’ve watched Armstrong win time trials and marveled at his final kicks when, after 50 miles of hard pedaling, he finds another gear to take the pace to another level.

And Tour winners are always incredibly great mountain racers, like Roberto Contador; he’s the best mountain climber to ever compete. The first year he won the Tour, 2007, Contador’s displays of power going up the mountains left fans and analysts alike speechless.

Due to a current doping melodrama, Contador may lose his 2010 title.

He has nothing to fear this year though, he’s no longer a credible threat, having suffered several falls in the first stages. Like a true champion though, he believes he can win the Tour. And there are a few analysts who insist he shouldn’t be counted out yet. But really, he hasn’t won any stages and is so far behind, eh, stranger things have happened.

The winner of Saturday’s Stage 14 is Belgium’s Jelle Vanendert. Another Pyrenées Mountain stage, this one had five different climbs, as compared to the single beyond category climb of Stage 13. Mark Cavandish won Sunday’s Stage 14.

The big thing about professional road bicycling though is the annual litany of doping scandals. Roberto Contador, once a favorite to win the 2011 Tour, is now waiting on a hearing for an appeal to a charge that he knowingly took a performance-enhancing drug. If the appeal goes against him, Contador will lose his 2010 title.

Doping has long been a scandal in professional bicycling. Jan Ullrich finally retired from the sport after not just injuries, but consistent reports he had been doping and doing illegal blood transfusions. There have long been published accounts of Lance Armstrong doping in the 1990’s, but nothing proven.

That’s probably a reason pro bicycling hasn’t really caught on here in the U.S., as it has in other countries, Europe in particular. We’ve already had doping scandals in our major sports here, both football and baseball. In fact, a major trial featuring Hall of Fame pitcher Roger Clemons was declared a mistrial after prosecutors mentioned testimony the judge had previously declared off limits.

Barry Bonds was implicated in the BALCO scandal that sent Olympic gold medalist Marion Jones to prison.

It seems as if everyone is doing it, so is it really cheating? Well yeah. Not everyone is doing it, as the many clean tests of the 120-plus riders in the Tour de France will confirm. But, someone had to find an artificial edge and once one person figured he needed chemical assistance to win, other figured they would need artificial assistance.

Will sports, professional bicycling in particular, ever be rid of doping scandals? Call me jaded, but I don’t think so. But, watching a mountain climber punch it into another gear to reach a summit ahead of everyone else, that is a sight to behold.

And this year’s Tour is considered the most epic ever. Well, we’ll see. I will anyway. I’ll be watching, if for no other reason than to see a Frenchman finally win it. If he doesn’t blow it!

Looking at the NBA Playoffs

nospam@example.com (Tim Forkes) — Mon, 16 May 2011 00:01:00 -0600

Here’s what’s going on, this Sunday Afternoon: watching the NBA Playoffs. Shoot, I don’t even know what round this is, so many teams get into it, but I think this is the quarter-finals. The Oklahoma City Thunder just beat the Memphis Grizzlies to advance to the Western Conference Finals

“The who? What? Wait! You follow basketball?”

Yeah, sort of. My friend Claudia is a big NBA fan, in particular a Lakers fan, so, I became an NBA fan all over again. Back in the 1980’s, when the Milwaukee Bucks were always advancing to the Eastern Conference Finals, roundball was one of my favorite distractions. I watched every Bucks game and every playoff game possible. Hated those Boston Celtics and so, by default, come playoff time I became a Lakers fan.

During the 90’s the professional game lost its appeal, looking to be more of a stage for individuals than a game played by teams. It was all due to the triangle offense, created by Phil Jackson to make spectacular use of his star—thee star—at the time, Michael Jordan. Them damn Chicago Bulls.

Until the Bulls drafted Jordan, Bucks fans didn’t have to hate the Bulls because they were perennial losers. In fact, even after Jordan entered the league the Bulls were perennial losers. Jordan could score 50 points and the Bulls would still lose, by as many as 20 points a game.

And then Phil Jackson came along with his desire to win championships. Within a couple of years the Bulls had a championship team and Michael Jordan was truly the star of the NBA, considered by many to be the best player ever.

Think about that: better than Wilt Chamberlain, better than Bob Cousy, Oscar Robertson, Bill Russell, Larry Bird, Ervin “Magic” Johnson and Doctor J — Julius Erving. And then there’s a whole bunch of great players who possibly could be mentioned like Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
 Nineteen years ago I left Milwaukee for Southern California and there were people who were still pissed off at Abdul-Jabbar for: A) leaving the Bucks for the Lakers, B) punching Milwaukee Center Kent Benson in the face and C), becoming a Muslim and changing his name from Lew Alcinder, Jr. to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. I’ll bet those people still harbor that resentment.

My favorite players ever: Bucks guards Sidney Moncrief and Oscar Robertson, Bucks centers Bob Lanier and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and of course Magic Johnson and Doctor J. I can understand why everyone considers Michael Jordan to be the best player ever, but Doctor J was something to watch!

In 1983 the Bucks swept the Celtics in four games, but then, in the Eastern Conference Finals, the Philadelphia 76’ers, with Doctor J, beat the Bucks in five games. DAMMIT! And then the Sixers went on to beat the Lakers in the NBA Finals.

After that the Bucks never really were deep contenders for the NBA finals, having lost their one good center, Bob Lanier, but most of the other teams in the Easter Conference were not very good so the Bucks often found themselves in the Easter Conference Finals — usually battling the Sixers or them damn Celtics.

So, what got my head rolling on this basketball thing was watching the Oklahoma City Thunder beat the Memphis Grizzlies to advance to the Western Conference Finals against the Dallas Mavericks.

Not familiar with the Thunder? They used to be the Seattle Supersonics. And of course the Grizzlies were an expansion team in Vancouver, British Columbia.

That’s what got my brain in a twirl this year: trying to catch up to all the league changes. I remember when the Minnesota Timberwolves and Orlando Magic joined the league, as well as the Miami Heat, Charlotte Hornets (who are now the New Orleans Hornets) and Washington Wizards, but after that … eh …
 The Bucks did have a 53-wins season in 2000-2001, but alas they lost the Eastern Conference finals to the Sixers — again.

So, we’re caught up. Before the start of the season a big deal was made about where LeBron James would play. He was definitely leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers, but who would win the lottery to pay King James … like a zillion bucks, or something in that neighborhood. As everyone knows, the Miami Heat got the nod. They looked like the most obvious contenders and they had the money, or at least the financial wizardry, to pay James’s salary.

But, the Heat already had a couple of marquee players, most especially Dwayne Wade, once of the Marquette Golden Eagles, and the thought was the two egos would not get along. Well, with 58 wins in the regular season and their spot in the Easter Conference Finals.

But, they just got waxed by the Bulls in the first game of the series.

To be honest, I have no idea which remaining team is the best. The Bulls have the best record and the way they beat the Heat, if I was in Vegas betting, I’d have to put my money on Chicago. But it’s the NBA Playoffs, anything can happen. Who’da thought neither the Celtics nor the Lakers would be in their respective conference finals? Still, the Chicago Bulls are the team to beat. Sorry Dallas Mavericks.

After the Mavs beat the Lakers Claudia told me as much about the Bulls. She knows the NBA, she knows the Playoffs. I didn’t doubt her at the time, but damn, the Heat seemed like everyone else’s favorite and the Mavs swept the Lakers. Everybody else, I’m going with the resident expert!

And she’s competing to be the Hooters Octagon Girl for UFC 132 in Las Vegas, NV. If you have Facebook, click the photo to the right and vote for Claudia! Vote once a day, every day—and if she says the Bulls are gonna be NBA Champions at the end of this, I’d believe her.
•••• •••• •••• •••• •••• ••••
Now I’m totally embarrassed. Claudia is a Miami girl and just told me she’s hoping the Miami Heat win the series with Chicago. Oh well ...

Sweet Sixteen!

nospam@example.com (Tim Forkes) — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 09:01:00 -0600

Today, on my way home from Oceanside, my friend said I should channel my rage into words — through the electrons of the Internets. Hard to be enraged though because my three favorite teams in the NCAA Basketball Tournament have reached the Sweet 16: Wisconsin, Marquette and San Diego State!

Marquette plays North Carolina in the next round, not too promising, but you never know, Cinderella made it all the way to the ball and finally went home with the prince! What a tramp!

Wisconsin will face Butler, another Cinderella team. Well, they’re not quite a Cinderella team, ranked 8 in their bracket. Still, the big team from the Big Ten is picked to win, pretty much because of their size. They have the skills and talent, but their size and bullying style on the court will beat Butler.

San Diego State University will play UConn — University of Connecticut — a perennial favorite. That will be a tough game for the Aztecs. It might be the most evenly matched game of the entire Big Dance. But nobody watches the NCAA Tournament for the most evenly matched games, they watch for the Final Four and this year the Final Four could include all three of my favorite teams!

They’d have to go through some big name teams, like North Carolina and UConn, not to mention Duke or Arizona, And BYU or Florida, Ohio State or Kansas and Kentucky. But hey, a guy can dream.

Every year the tournament looks exciting with Wisconsin and Marquette showing up in the brackets, but then they get booted in the first or second rounds and … sigh … we’re back to choosing between the perennial favorites. This year, the fantasy goes on into the Sweet 16 and with three favorites in this round, there’s a really good chance at least one of them could make it to Houston.
 I wonder if a guy can still get tickets?

Remember 1977 when Marquette won it all? Eh, few do. It was 34 years ago. Back then the team was called the Marquette Warriors. Since then, and I forget exactly when, political correctness caused the Jesuit University to change it from a Native American reference to a bird — a really big and fearsome bird, but it doesn’t quite have the gravitas as the Warriors. Well, life goes on.

Anyway, in 1977 Marquette was an independent school, not aligned with any conference. No one thought an independent could win it all because with conference money to back up the school’s bankroll, independents were no match for the powerhouses from the major conferences. Until Marquette.

Al McGuire, legendary coach and TV basketball analyst. He retired after winning it all with the Warriors and went on to make a new name for himself talking about college basketball. He’s gone now, off into Roundball Heaven, if we can choose our won versions of Heaven.
 My Heaven? — My Heavens! — You can probably guess! It doesn’t have a sports theme! But, if you’re not sure, Click Here for a refresher — if you dare!

So, this game between Marquette and North Carolina could be considered a grudge match. It was Dean Smith’s Tar Heels McGuire and the Warriors beat in 1977. I’m sure some enterprising producer or intern will make the connection before game time. Of course, Marquette is an 11-seed and UNC is a second-seed. Can’t imagine any analyst or sports book will pick Marquette in this game.

At this stage of the tournament, I’d like to think — and this is no doubt very Pollyanna on my part — rankings no longer matter. If a team has made it to the Third Round, it has proven it belongs in the tournament and can win. Yeah, that’s Pollyanna, but what the Hell, Marquette beat all expectations 34 years ago and won it all.

On the other hand though, up until the tournament many prognosticators were saying this would be San Diego State’s year. They did open the season with 21 straight wins and had only two losses all season. Although they won’t be playing UConn at the Viejas Arena, the Aztecs will play the Huskies in Anaheim, which is pretty close to home.

Wisconsin will play Butler in New Orleans Thursday, 5 p.m. Pacific Time. Gotta get home in time to watch the second half.

I don’t really follow basketball much these days. I do know the Lakers beat Portland last night, 84-80. Can’t watch TV or listen to the radio without hearing about the Lakers. They still are the Showtime in Southern California. And the Milwaukee Bucks beat the New York Knicks, 100-95. What else does a guy need to know about the NBA? Oh yeah, the Miami Heat is imploding with LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh, but that alleged discord has been put to bed. The Heat did beat the Denver Nuggets last night. But, they lost their starting point guard in the process. That about covers any NBA news I care to know.

But, the NCAA Tournament is an exciting event, stretched over five weeks of heated debate and competition.

Even President Obama picks his brackets every year. Of course, his political opponents criticized him for doing so, but fuck them. He takes a little time out of his day to go on ESPN to make his selections known and he’s going to get blasted for it? Gimme a break! Newt Gingrich is an idiot!

My choice to win it all? It’s hard to pick one from my three favorites, but it would be cool to be here in Sandy Eggo if the Aztecs hoist the Trophy, but my heart is with Wisconsin.

Other than that, I’d like to see all three advance to the next round, which means Marquette beating North Carolina — again. That will be sweet!

Bragging Rights

nospam@example.com (Tim Forkes) — Sun, 12 Dec 2010 16:01:00 -0700

The roof of the Metrodome in Minneapolis, MN collapsed in a snow storm, causing the NFL to move Sunday’s game between the Vikings and the New York Giants to Monday Night in Detroit, MI. Works out for me and sort of works out for football fans in Detroit because A: it’s the first Monday Night game that city has had in decades. The Lions have been so bad they have been left off the Monday Night schedule. B: the NFL is handing out free tickets to anyone who goes to the game.

The two feet of snow that caused the collapse is the reason I moved from Wisconsin to California. That’s 24 inches of snow in one storm. Then you take into account all the other storms that will happen during the season, which in that area starts the beginning of November and continues until mid-April, and you get the picture. And it’s so damn cold!

It works out for me because the Vikings-Giants game was going to be aired her in San Diego. Since the game was postponed, we got the Green Bay Packers playing the Detroit Lions! Yay! We get a Packer game! But it isn’t the Packers best game, not by a long shot. Beginning of the 4th quarter and the score is just 3-0, Packers winning. But the Lions keep moving the ball and at some point the Lions are gonna get it right, catch an officiating break and voila! The Lions are leading.

By the time this is completed, the game will be over and … shee-it! Lions just scored a touchdown.

Aaron Rogers has been knocked out of the game with a concussion so the Packers are depending on their only other quarterback, Matt Flynn. O dear. Less than four minutes left in the game and the Lions are leading by four. Packers can’t settle for a field goal if they make it into the “Red Zone” at the other end of the field. Actually, the Packers are moving the ball so they have a chance to win this game.

But not anymore. The Lions defense kept the Packers out of the end zone, keeping the Pack from getting beyond mid-field. The Lions have their third win of the season. The Packers, with an 8-5 season record, stay behind the Chicago Bears in the division. They could go 11-5 and not make the playoffs.

Here in the AFC West Division, a team with an 8-8 record could conceivably make the playoffs. The Kansas City Chiefs lead the division, by two games and they are in San Diego to play the Chargers. That game is just getting under way. Oh how we lament the Chargers in San Diego. Last week they got their clock cleaned by the Oakland Raiders.

Going into today’s games, the Chargers and Raiders were tied in the division. But, the Raiders lost to the Jacksonville Jaguars so if the Chargers win today they will be in sole possession of second place in the division — one game behind the Chiefs.

Such is the state of being a fan of a sports team, or for many in San Diego, a fan of two teams. Ideally, both teams should win every game, but they don’t Usually, one team wins and the other loses, like today.

San Diego is one of those places where you’ll find transplants from other parts of the country. There are A LOT of Packers and Steelers fans in San Diego, and interestingly enough, a whole lot of Raiders fans. Due to this being a military town — Navy and Marines — you’ll see cars with team merch, bumper stickers and the like, from just about every professional sports team in America. Even the Fucking Cowboys.

That blue star, you just want to run them pricks off the road. But, if the vehicle is sporting Cowboy blue, it’s more than likely an over-sized pickup with a jacked up frame; you’ve seen them. You need a six-foot ladder to get into them. Hard to run them off the road.

Team rivalries thrive in San Diego. We argue about our teams and it really sucks if your home team loses or is in a losing season. Man! I remember 13 years ago when the Packers were here in San Diego to play the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XXXII. Everyone was certain the Packers were going to walk away the winners. My brother and I even went to see the team at their hotel in La Jolla the day before the game. They were loose, too loose it seemed and a feeling of dread came over me.

The night before the biggest game of the season, and it would seem logical they would have their game faces on, getting serious for the next day’s event. But the Packers looked totally unconcerned with football. Sure enough, after all their trash talking leading up to the game, the Packers lost to the Denver Broncos. It was humiliating to talk with family in the Denver area, all of whom abandoned the Packers to be Broncos fans.

Effin’ Packers. They were 11-point favorites! Instead, they lost by seven.

Well, the Chargers game is over, they beat the Kansas City Chiefs, 31-0. So, to Hell with the Packers, I’m a Chargers fan today! The first game of the season though, the Chiefs beat the Chargers, but only by seven points.

The favorite past time of Chargers fans this season is to bash head coach Norv Turner. But, Norv is still the coach. More than likely, the Chargers will make the playoffs, especially if they win their final three games of the season. And let’s hope that if they do make it, they don’t fold in their first post-season game.

Now it’s time for Sunday Night Football: The Philadelphia Eagles against them effin’ Cowboys. I hope Michael Vick and his team squash the Cowboys. America’s Team my ass! I don’t know what’s worse, the team itself or their arrogant and sanctimonious fans.

This is the part where I bring up the “Ice Bowl” of 1967. It was the last day of the year, the NFL Championship Game, played in Lambeau Field, Green Bay, Wisconsin. The temperature at game time was -13°f, the wind chill a horrific -48°f. By the end of the game, with that dramatic last play, the air temperature had dropped to -20°f.

Like the season before, the Packers faced the Cowboys for the championship and in the final minutes of the game it looked like the Cowboys could actually win. In Lambeau Field no less. But, with 16 seconds left in the game and the Packers on the 1-yard line, Bart Starr called a trick play: a quarterback sneak. Being diehard Packer fans, our house erupted with cheers. The Packers had won their third consecutive NFL Championship and went on to beat the Oakland Raiders in Super Bowl II.

After that the Cowboys were clearly the better team, going to the Super Bowl several times, losing most of them. This was before the Jerry Jones, Jimmy Johnson era. But, in 1997 the Packers won Super Bowl XXXI in New Orleans, beating the New England Patriots 35-21.

Effin’ Packers … good thing them effin’ Chargers won.